I'm at Ogolonto bus stop, dancing and holding a framed photograph of Grandpa.

Me: (Dances and waves white handkerchief) Our Grandpa has died o. Come and contribute money for burial for us!

Me: (Raises the framed photograph) Container jam him in Kaduna o

Everybody: Ehya

Me: (Goes on all fours and dances)

Big Daddy: (Jumps down from keke) HAUWA!

Me: (Stands and cleans my knees)

Big Daddy: When did Grandpa die?

Me: Won't he still die?

BD: Have you heard?

Me: Heard what?

Random man: (Walks up to us) What happened to your Grandpa?

Me: Tailer march him in Kogi

Random man: (Drops N100 in my bowl)

Me: (Turns around to twerk for him)

BD: (Grabs my hands and pushes me inside the keke)

Me: (In Oyinbo accent) Grand Papa! What happened?

Grandpa: (Eyes me) Who is Grand Papa? And what is on your chest?

Me: (Looks down) Adieu Grandpa

Granpa: (Points to me) She is the one that's doing me! It is her!

Me: What happened?

Man: Your Grandpa slept with our masquerade.

Me: (Leans in and whispers) Grandpa, why did you sleep with Eyo?

Grandpa: (Knocks me) Who mention Eyo here? Is Egungun.

Man: And our masquerade is not supposed to know man.

Grandpa: Then why is her bum bum big?

Me: Why are you sexually attracted to masquerade?!

Big Daddy: Where did you find the masquerade?

Grandpa: Oyingbo Junction. I toasted her and she said yes, so I book hotel.

BD: Which money did you use?

Grandpa: Ajiun's bail money.

BD: What?!

Grandpa: Look, Ajiun carried cocaine to Pakistan. If we bail him, they will still arrest him back.

Man: If someone doesn't carry sacrifice to Akure, your grandpa will die & curse will fall on your family.

Me: Wo, you will pick number because many people want to curse us.

Man:

BD: Hauwa will carry the sacrifice.

Me: (Sighs) Do you know why fish swallow jonah?

BD: He did not go where they sent him.

Me: Walai, I will carry your sacrifice to Port Harcourt.

Grandpa: I should die?!

BD: Do you want Grandpa to die?

Me: Don't you see the Adieu on my chest?

Man: So who will carry it?

Me: All the children on our street look like Grandpa. Choose one to carry it.

BD: I will carry the sacrifice.

Me: (Removes cloth from my Ghana Must Go)

BD: What's that?

Me: Adieu Big Daddy

BD: Are you mad, why did you do Adieu shirt for me?!

Me: Everybody in this family has Adieu shirt.

(Removes framed photograph of Big Daddy and runs outside)

Grandpa: (Holds his loins) I really regret the day I toasted her Grandma.
And she told me they have madness in their family but I didn't answer because of her bumbum.

Me: (From outside) Evil Spirit has killed Big Daddy o!

BD:

Grandpa: (Stands) Wo, I paid the hotel people for two nights. Kubura will be waiting for me.

BD: Who is Kubura?

Grandpa: The masquerade woman.

BD: