Today in "You didn't ask for this commentary, but here it is", I want to talk about the sentiment, "If your partner isn't super into the stuff you do/doesn't buy your stuff/doesn't sub to your stream/etc, you should dump them immediately."

I- Y'all, please. /1

That sentiment is unreasonable and unhealthy. You're dealing with a whole other person who has they're own needs, wants, and likes. While there should be some common ground, you just cannot demand that they have a whole shift of personality that includes only your interests. /2

However, I think the source of the issue comes from feeling dismissed by your romantic interests as it relates to your hobbies.

For example: I stream and play tabletop games. That takes up a fair bit of time and someone who dates me has to be okay with that part of things. /3

And I owe them the same respect when it comes to their interests. What does reasonable look like?

Asking how the streaming stuff is going once in a while.
Not issuing ultimatims where my interests/passions are concerned.
Interest in my *joy*. /4

Let's talk about that last one. Do I expect someone I date to make a twitch account and immediately sub? No. I don't if that's not already their thing.

However, if I'm over the moon about stream things™, then a response of "That's awesome! Let's celebrate!" make sense. /5

The whole "break up with them if they aren't showing loud support" is coming from a place of demanding validation from places and people you shouldn't, imo.

Does it make it easier when someone shares your interests? Sure does! But.. /6

Does it mean a relationship with a non-streamer or non-writer or non-gamer is impossible? No. It shouldn't.

The only thing that means is that you have to communicate, empathize, understand, and compromise as needed just like anyone in any other relationship does. /7

While there are some particulars to being a creative type of some kind, none of the issues you're dealing with are especially unique bc they involve a publishing company or digital platform.

Date people you like, not people you feel will be "yes people" for your work. /8

Date people who celebrate you. Date people who value you. Date people who choose you and you choose in return.

Don't date people for validation or as a substitute for therapy.

Okay? OK.

Back to your regularly scheduled Sunday. /

PS: If someone is actively being terrible to you bc of your passions and interests, creative or otherwise, throw them in the trash.

You shouldn't be belittled for the joys you find in the world. Make sure you're doing the work of communication, tho.