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A’whora assaulted me when i was 18 and on shift. i’ve put off speaking on it out of fear, but i genuinely can’t stand to see people glamorise such a fake and predatory individual.
this was on more than 1 occasion.
i just want to first of all say thank you to the people giving support as it’s really stressful right now as i’m already being told i’m lying or that i shouldn’t speak about it
he’d seen me a few times while i was working the club doing promotion and showed an interest in me which isn’t uncommon as a young gay person working around drunk gay men however it’s easy to just ignore it and carry on however he proceeded to become for forwards as he saw me
again the next time and forcibly kissed me after i continuously said no. working this job i have been groped, had people just come up and kiss and grab me and say sexual things unprovoked as i’ve been on shift and it’s the same while being on nights out but it’s inevitable
especially as i said working around this many drunk gay men. the second time i was working on the stairs as it was the end of the night and i was away from security giving out flyers as people were leaving the venue, he approached me while on the stairs and i instantly walked off
after knowing he was drunk and me trying to avoid him making any advances again. situations like this may i add put you into a state of shock and i often try and ignore them because i don’t want to cause any problems. however i shouldn’t have to.
continuing on, i walked down the stairs and went to take off my coat and play it behind the front desk area and came back to the stairs while handing out flyers as people were leaving, i was now on the other side of the railing with my back to where i was before
i did not see him still stood on the stairs i still don’t know if he was still there or had came back after leaving. it was then that he grabbed me from behind twisting my head round while grabbing my face. one hand had multiple rings on which dug into my jaw while the other was
grabbing onto the other side of my face, on this side he broke sick whether that was through scratching in not sure however he had left me with cuts on my face. while doing this he forcibly kissed me and bit my lips. the position i was in while holding a stack of flyers
made it extremely difficult to push him off and when i did i was in a state of shock and then went to speak to security quite shook up, he’d left by this point and i was taken to have my cuts cleaned as a precaution and to further speak to staff and security about what had
just happened. i feel genuinely sick to my stomach and wish i’d never spoken out. it’s so common and unfair for people to be told they aren’t allowed to feel like they can speak out about situations like this and it’s all too often people within the gay community enable
situations like this to go on with no consequences. where i may have felt comfortable several months ago to lift his ban and ‘maybe’ run the risk of seeing him around the club, i’ve now spent the last month or so seeing him splashed over my social media through
friends posts and people glamorising and praising him online and having his tweet sent to me last night was the tipping point.
this isn’t unexpected. after they tried to enter the venue on new year’s eve and was told by security they were barred they tried to approach me at the other venue i was working where i went inside away from them as i was on shift and still extremely nervous about what had
happened. he then blocked me on my socials and supposedly posted a rant via his instagram story’s however i can’t comment much on that as i didn’t see them myself.
it’s a broader conversation that needs to happen now. all too often especially within the gay community situations like this where assault takes place are often laughed off or ignored. it’s not okay and shouldn’t be normalised. people are too quick to defend or stay silent
with the allegations against people such as alexander wang coming forward it just shows the environment in which people are made to feel they can’t talk about it in fears of being silenced or judged. nobody deserves to feel that way, and if anything i pushed past that feeling
in hopes that it’s a step in the direction of ending the whole notion that it’s expected or justifiable. nobody whether it be at work, socialising or in every day life deserves to be in these situations and part of the issue is staying quiet
whether i worked in a club or at the bank it’s not normal and shouldn’t be thought of as ‘just one of those things’ especially not with the reason being down to the fact we’re gay and have a rather sexualised side to the community
