Read on Twitter
Some random thoughts on my experiences with dating apps:
The only meal that women eat is brunch, but, based upon the number of brunch selfies (brunchies?), women eat brunch eight times a day every day of the week.
The only meal that women eat is brunch, but, based upon the number of brunch selfies (brunchies?), women eat brunch eight times a day every day of the week.
⅔ of women want a guy who’s a great communicator. The other ⅓ just want someone to buy them beer and tell them they’re pretty.
All women who love books also need coffee to function.
I’ve never seen a girl in a wheelchair on a dating app. Do they not feel like they would receive any likes?
The STANDOUTS section of Hinge only includes the most attractive women and requires you to buy digital roses to attempt to connect with them. $MTCH probably makes a fortune from STANDOUTS.
80% of women profess "Moderate” political views. 15% of women write #Resistance on their profiles, and 5% are openly conservative and will include pictures of dead deer on their profiles.
Your opinion of The Office matters more to potential matches than everything else combined.
What’s a Hufflepuff?
She just needs words of affirmation, tacos, and a trip to Disney to be happy, no matter who she is.
"Jesus-loving blonde wearing a brimmed hat while standing in the autumn leaves” is a whole aesthetic.
It’s also kinda hot.
It’s also kinda hot.
I have no clue how to introduce myself through a dating app. Literally none.
A picture first, writing second, layout feels like a disadvantage to me.
Swiping left and right on real people feels wrong to me because you’re encouraged to judge based on appearance.
10% of women use the Snapchat puppy dog face filter for their profile pictures.
I have never liked any of them!
I have never liked any of them!
Car selfies with added sparkles remain plentiful. But why?
A few women definitely lie about their age. If you have grey hair and teenage children, you’re not 26. I’m sorry 
For every girl on a dating app, 1.5 dogs exist.
I want in on the $BMBL IPO.
To the girl whose profile included a Berenstein Bears conspiracy theory: Please go to therapy.
To the girl whose profile included one picture of a protest and possible teargas: No.
To the girl whose profile included nothing except for pictures of her kissing a lumberjack: Heck no.
To the girl whose profile listed her name as Pixie Fairydust: Are you 5?
To the girl whose profile included a photo of her with fangs dripping (fake?) blood: @naeriface is my vampire, not you!
Accountants won’t respond when you tell them they’re attractive on a GAAP basis. Referring to their balance sheet as loaded with assets doesn’t work either.
