There are a lot of LGBTIA+ people who are not ready to hear about how monogamous culture is VERY similar to straight culture and a lot of LGBTIA+ monogamous people are still perpetuating some of the same bullshit they mock and call out straight people for.

And before anyone starts, no this isn't "attacking" monogamy. Both monogamy and polyamory can be done well or badly. But monogamy is privileged in this culture, including within LGBTIA+ spaces (for example, think of how many people fought for monogamous same-sex marriage, and how

few of those people seem to care as much - or at all - about fighting for polyamorous people's right to marry) and there is an entire culture built around it with many biases and flaws. Addressing that is not an attack. Wanting better from people is not an attack.

Mononormativity is as widespread an issue as heternormativity, and the two overlap in SO many ways. Both straight polyam folks and monog LGBTIA+ folks perpetuate so many issues and I'm quite frankly tired of the monogamy aspect being conveniently overlooked.

So many issues in the way this culture does relationships get reduced to just a straight people problem, but even if you're gonna reduce them to an X people problem as though these issues don't exist in our communities too, then you should at least be acknowledging that these

issues are very frequently monogamous and allo (someone who isn't aromantic/asexual) problems too, alongside being issues of white culture, non-disabled culture, etc. We ALL need to be working on our understanding of relationships.

I'm just tired of seeing LGBTIA+ folks acting like they're so enlightened about relationships just because they're not straight, when that doesn't necessarily mean having done any real questioning of relationship norms, what other forms of privilege (particularly, how certain

parts of themselves and their relationships are normalised and thus unexamined) they have that might be influencing how they "do" relationships, etc. Weird, toxic relationship norms aren't just a Straight People Thing, folks,

and we could all learn a lot from listening to folks different to us and really analysing where our ideas about relationships come from and whether they're really based on full respect for our partners, potential partners, other people's relationships, etc.

I just...it's really frustrating when LGBTIA+ folks make loads of jokes about Straight People Problems (also generally overlooking that some LGBTIA+ people are straight) but then get angry at any polyam folks who point out that those are Monogamous People Problems too.

Concerning relationship patterns are an All Of Us Problem, tbh, and it's only with all of us actively listening to communities whose perceptions of relationships we don't know much about that we are gonna get past a lot of these problems.

And no, none of this is excusing polyam folks who do this same shit. Focusing on one aspect of the issue right now doesn't mean I'm not acknowledging other aspects; it just means I have a reason to talk about this part right now.

Anyway, it sure would be nice if leftists remembered polyamorous people and recognised us as a marginalised group denied equal rights and not just a quirky lifestyle or something they can actively stigmatise.
(And no, I don't feel like answering Polyamory 101 questions today.)