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"i feel so empty now, but if i withhold gratification until some arbitrary external accomplishment, I'll surely feel fulfilled then"
actually when you accomplish your goal you'll just have removed your biggest distraction from noticing you feel empty
actually when you accomplish your goal you'll just have removed your biggest distraction from noticing you feel empty
When I was in highschool, an former alumni came to speak to us. She was an Olympic gold medal winner. She told us that after she won gold, she became extremely lost and depressed. She described it like the worst thing to happen to her. Like she died.
That really stuck with me.
That really stuck with me.
I imagine getting married is the worst thing to ever happen to someone whos ultimate life goal was to get married.
And I wonder to what extent post-partum depression is related to the same thing. Oh god an endless circle of meaningless life. What have I done? Why did I do it?
And I wonder to what extent post-partum depression is related to the same thing. Oh god an endless circle of meaningless life. What have I done? Why did I do it?
Its like when you beat a video game, and they let you wander around the world afterwards beating up enemies in your overpowered state. Its like all the life from the game has been removed, something that was once compelling and visceral has become a barren wasteland
I feel compelled to say horrifying things like this because I find them to be true. And I don't think many people talk about them.
I think people experience these sorts of things and then feel pathetic, ungrateful, unwell, and insane.
I think people experience these sorts of things and then feel pathetic, ungrateful, unwell, and insane.
I'm sorry to say that there is nothing external to you that can fundamentally alleviate these feelings. Nothing that can fix you or the world in the manner you would like.
HOWEVER!
Goals, money, support, connection, accomplishment, etc are essential to your ability to grapple with life. You can't do this alone. You need help, you need the external world. And unfortunately, we live in an age where society is leaving us all out to dry.
Goals, money, support, connection, accomplishment, etc are essential to your ability to grapple with life. You can't do this alone. You need help, you need the external world. And unfortunately, we live in an age where society is leaving us all out to dry.
But maybe this is just violently blackpilling people. Posting dangerous info hazards. Idk.
Good luck out there. Stay vibing. We’re all gunna make it!
Good luck out there. Stay vibing. We’re all gunna make it!
