Read on Twitter
#TW #rape #trauma
Let's have a conversation about TRAUMA and how it can show up and some reminders K! Cool!
- We do not just get over trauma
- We learn how to navigate in ways that feel good for us
- Trauma shows up in our bodies in many ways
- Everyones triggers are different.
Let's have a conversation about TRAUMA and how it can show up and some reminders K! Cool!
- We do not just get over trauma
- We learn how to navigate in ways that feel good for us
- Trauma shows up in our bodies in many ways
- Everyones triggers are different.
GREAT.
I was raped when I was 21. I was in my apartment sleeping and I woke up to someone that I had been with. Naked over me. I assume someone let him in. He was in a fraternity and he was in the area pledging someone I was then seeing.
I was raped when I was 21. I was in my apartment sleeping and I woke up to someone that I had been with. Naked over me. I assume someone let him in. He was in a fraternity and he was in the area pledging someone I was then seeing.
No, I did not fight back. I froze. This person had an obsession with weapons. And I was scared. I did not tell anyone because I thought everyone would call me a liar. Everyone always thought I was a slut. Because they never understood my nonmong brain (I didn't either)
I had many consensual relationships. And lot's of sex that was negotiated. Hence no one I slept with ever had a thing to say. I saw this person again after he raped me. He tried to get me into a polygamy relationship. He had gotten others pregnant and taken them to the clinic.
I was not well. From 21-27, my life was a blur. A partied every day. I carried a bar in my trunk. I would dance, drink, flirt and then when triggered. I would fight and attack people. I am not proud of it, and I hurt many people. I will forever have to live with that.
I never reported my rape. And that is okay. Many survivors never do. And I am one of them. I have never felt safe about it. THIS IS A REMINDER that everyone processes and deals with it differently. AND THAT IS OKAY!
In 2019, I was moving in with my best friend, after attending a 10-day silent retreat. And returning to a home that didn't feel like it was safe for me. My best friend, my sister said I could move in. I still live with her( Ill be moving out this year *crosses toes*)
It was a day that I was taking stuff over in my car. I was leaving and she was heading out. I said bye, sat in my car and my phone started going off.
- My mom was texting
- My manager was texting
- and I had a venmo request.
And duh I went to check the venmo first.
- My mom was texting
- My manager was texting
- and I had a venmo request.
And duh I went to check the venmo first.
It was him. I had him blocked on all social media platforms. But, I never thought about Venmo.
It was a request for 10 cents. And the note was the year he raped me.
I wanna note this is my carrier and what I have studied for years.
It was a request for 10 cents. And the note was the year he raped me.
I wanna note this is my carrier and what I have studied for years.
I instantly blocked him. Checked in with my body it was tensing up. I knew I had 30-45 minutes before shit was gonna hit the fan for me. I gathered myself and drove home. I made it to the park near my house.
I bought food for grounding
I took my shoes off and walked in the grass
I texted my people, to let them know what happened.
It was a fucked up weekend, lots of bedtime, lots of feeling unsafe and vulnerable. Not eating, not being.
I took my shoes off and walked in the grass
I texted my people, to let them know what happened.
It was a fucked up weekend, lots of bedtime, lots of feeling unsafe and vulnerable. Not eating, not being.
Even knowing all the things, and maybe if I hadn't done that stuff. It could have been worse I dunno. I talked to my therapist. I have navigated new ways to help myself as well as help others if this happens.
I SAY ALL OF THiS to SAY!
I SAY ALL OF THiS to SAY!
We never just get over the trauma(s), and sometimes shit is bad. IT IS REAL BAD! But, we figure out safety plans, and techniques so it doesn't ruin us.
I woke up from a nightmare, that he was in. That hasn't happened in years. But, I have been working on releasing more things.
I woke up from a nightmare, that he was in. That hasn't happened in years. But, I have been working on releasing more things.
Survivors I know sometimes you feel like you are alone and or no one understands. But we do! Or you see celebrities and think they are perfect. NOPE, I have friends that are celebs reminder THEY ARE HUMAN TOO! With shit that happened/happens to them as well.
The work I get to do is a privilege. I share these parts of myself with you all because, honestly, I think someone else needs to see this.
I am fine, I will continue to be fine. I continue to release and reject.
#metoo
#speakingout #timesup and those with no hashtag 143.
I am fine, I will continue to be fine. I continue to release and reject.
#metoo
#speakingout #timesup and those with no hashtag 143.
Resources:
http://HealingIntersections.com
http://Rainn.org
http://Nomore.org
http://avp.org
http://Safehorizon.org
http://1in6.org
National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233
http://HealingIntersections.com
http://Rainn.org
http://Nomore.org
http://avp.org
http://Safehorizon.org
http://1in6.org
National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233
