there is a difference between saying "you aren't bi/queer if..." and "it's on you that no one knows you're bi/queer if..."

please figure out that distinction thank you.

i know many queer/bi women & enbies who are partnered with men. they're part of our communities because they continue showing up, staying in touch with what's happening, and centring queers. & if their dude partners are straight, not insisting that they deserve queer space too.

i also have bi/queer cis women/enby friends who're with cishet men & don't embed themselves in queer communities & relational/cultural norms. they're still queer/bi, but they don't get all butthurt when people don't immediately know it, because they understand they made choices.

there is a distinct difference between moving through the world sharing the stigma of a gross perverted queer life, and moving through the world enjoying most of the privileges of heterosexuality. we also want you to acknowledge that power dynamic in how you take up space.