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Threading mental health notes for myself that may help someone else with anxiety/PTSD:
I'm finding the best rubric for whether or not I need to go into some kind of serious recovery mode* is how well I handle disruptions to my plans and routines.
I'm finding the best rubric for whether or not I need to go into some kind of serious recovery mode* is how well I handle disruptions to my plans and routines.
2/ Stating base assumptions: I find routines, rituals, and structure help tame my brainweasels. The feeling I set (or had set for me) goals and got them done, that I do X thing in the morning and Y thing at night, this chore happens on Monday and this one on Tuesday, etc.
3/ Except the reality of modern adulthood, especially these days, is that disruptions to that are GOING to happen. People get sick. Joints ache. Power sometimes goes out. Errands need to be done RIGHT NOW out of nowhere. And so on.
4/ When I'm doing OK, that's fine; I can be flexible around the needs of the moment (as long as it doesn't smack my particular trauma around having the goalposts moved suddenly, but that's another topic). At my healthiest I can even improvise a new structure around the change.
6/ If I'm NOT doing well? I am more likely to end up sobbing over the disruption and/or numbly unable to process what needs to happen. This is where "scream-crying because the printer jammed" comes in.
7/ (I skipped 5, 5 is fake) @redsonya is actually who pointed out to me that post-holiday I've been more able to flex around the needs of the moment, so full credit to her. I'm trying to remember that's a good emotional barometer for me; hopefully I can act to make fixes sooner.
8/ BTW this whole thing about routine is yet another reason we left our living situation in CA -- the bad landlord's bad upkeep of our cottage meant ordinary everyday stuff became unpredictable (turns out most modern devices can't cope with ancient, decaying wiring!)
*/ (Yes, I was coming back to the asterisk in the first post!) "serious recovery mode" is still something I am working out the recipe for -- the correct balance between hard self-care (exercise, hydrating) and fun self-care (comic books, #HadesGame).
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