Decided to say fuck it and watch the da vinci code for the first time.

I'm less than ten minutes in and I'm already lost.

This is why we have qanon

I don't understand anyone's motivation's or who the hell anyone is. Tom Hanks is some kind of professor? Investigating a museum murder perpetrated by Uber Catholics???

Is this just three hours of Tom Hanks seeing some common iconography and being like "This doesn't make sense!" In an astonished tone?

Sure just show me a flashback for a character whose presence in the film you have not justified at all

Really feel like I'd be better off just watching Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.

At least something would have happened by now.

So does everyone in this movie just get to take a sabbatical from their jobs whenever they want to go on treasure hunts?

I don't understand how any of these ancient secrets are still hidden when the fuckin puzzles are all mickey mouse amateur hour bullshit.

Lucasarts adventure games were harder than this.

Leisure Suit Larry is a more complex puzzle than this.