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There is no greater illustration of the gulf between a company's introverts and its extroverts than the existence of the "team building offsite."
The extroverts swear that "It's a life-changing, transformational , energizing weekend that will change your life!"
"Great companies," they intone, "are built on great cultures. And great cultures are built on forcing everyone to mix and mingle!"
"Great companies," they intone, "are built on great cultures. And great cultures are built on forcing everyone to mix and mingle!"
They rip through the exercises all day, and then, full of beans, they head out in the evening for axe-throwing, dancing, concerts, or other social events organized to get more people mixing and mingling with each other.
Now ask the introverts how the weekend went.
Ok, you asked? You may not have gotten a candid answer.
Most introverts have learned that while society may think a lot of nice things about reflective, thoughtful people, they stop thinking nice things the moment you say,
"Sorry, I do not care for team-building."
Most introverts have learned that while society may think a lot of nice things about reflective, thoughtful people, they stop thinking nice things the moment you say,
"Sorry, I do not care for team-building."
But let's move on. Besides extroverts and introverts, there's another dichotomy:
Between the confident and the anxious.
Confident people (and those who have rewired themselves to look and sound confident) love to play competitive games.
Between the confident and the anxious.
Confident people (and those who have rewired themselves to look and sound confident) love to play competitive games.
To a confident person, competition is a great way to get people engaged, to give an extra 10%, and to make it "interesting."
Confident people arranging team-building exercises are easy to spot: Their central exercise will be a competition with an award for the "best" team.
Confident people arranging team-building exercises are easy to spot: Their central exercise will be a competition with an award for the "best" team.
These are exactly the type of people who used to take up golf and will tell you at length about how golf is a great way to demonstrate character in yourself and judge it in others.
To them, being able to give it your all but lose gracefully is a badge of honour.
They forget that the reason they can do this is that they feel safe and have no anxiety that any flaw in their behaviour, no matter how small, may doom their career.
They forget that the reason they can do this is that they feel safe and have no anxiety that any flaw in their behaviour, no matter how small, may doom their career.
The anxious people, on the other hand, are paralyzed by team competitions.
They have invested a great deal of their energy into being competent enough at their jobs so that they no longer fear being "outed" as incompetent.
They have invested a great deal of their energy into being competent enough at their jobs so that they no longer fear being "outed" as incompetent.
And what happens at a team-building exercise?
"Here's this contrived compeition that is deliberately constructed so that nobody has any relevant experience playing it."
"Here's this contrived compeition that is deliberately constructed so that nobody has any relevant experience playing it."
This is emotional murder to the anxious.
Now:
Introvert / Extrovert / Confident / Anxious are bullshit made-up words. People are plastic, and our confidence/extroversion is unevenly distributed.
Nobody is all one thing or another all the time for all things.
Now:
Introvert / Extrovert / Confident / Anxious are bullshit made-up words. People are plastic, and our confidence/extroversion is unevenly distributed.
Nobody is all one thing or another all the time for all things.
But here's my conjecture to end the thread:
Team-building events skew towards being fun for people who have social and/or corporate privilege, and skew towards being stressful for those who don't.
Please give that some thought the next time you're attending or organizing one.
Team-building events skew towards being fun for people who have social and/or corporate privilege, and skew towards being stressful for those who don't.
Please give that some thought the next time you're attending or organizing one.
