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So uhhhh today I finally found out about the #ArmieHammer leaked DM scandal situation with cannibalism and shit and itâs popping up in the therapists circles and people are FREAKING OUT so YOU KNOW I GOTTA SAY SOME THINGS & set people straight with some EDUMACATION.
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Letâs start with a reminder that legal isnât the same as feasible isnât the same as moral isnât the same as physically arousing isnât the same mentally arousing isnât the same as healthy isnât the same as safe etc . These are overlapping categories but not the same.
Furthermore? Fantasies and actual behaviors, or even the thrill of a fantasy versus a played out one, are also not the same. Thereâs cool research on fantasies which I wonât go hard into right now but the lit exists, about whatâs common, what are some of our motivations, etc.
Also: not all kinks and fetishes need to be carried out (or carried out âpureâ), AND not all kinks are âmagically ok.â
âIs this a kink or is this harmfulâ is a false binary, too. It can be both, and it can be neither, and it can be just one.
âIs this a kink or is this harmfulâ is a false binary, too. It can be both, and it can be neither, and it can be just one.
Just like with everything, kinks and sexuality as a whole are also impacted by our social context. Desires that follow dominant social narratives of oppression (e.g. men dominating women) arenât exempt from critique, same as âpreferencesâ that are just RACIST CONDITIONING.
& ALL THAT SAID, shitâs more complicated and less terrifying than sensationalized media presents it as. Kinks that sound âscaryâ often arenât really, or arenât âas scary and strangeâ when you actually understand them and what theyâre about. This is why I love working on this 
As far as @armiehammer? We donât actually know enough about this dude to say what *HIS* deal is. We donât. The leaked DMs are a tiny drop in the large bucket of his psyche. Full stop. And frankly I donât care about his dealâI care about the meaning the rest of us make of this.
Itâs WILD how viscerally different most of us react when we hear about like...a murder that has some sexual element versus a murder that doesnât versus a multi-year war where thousands get killed. Part of it is the unknown of sex & the stigma of it, straight up.
Violence is normalized and sex is stigmatized and widely mis-taught and silenced at the same time culturally we are OBSESSED. Put this in a blender and you have a super potent combo thatâs ripe for sensationalizing and misunderstanding no matter what the headline ends up being.
Every single time that I have in-depth conversations and trainings about this with people, they end up shocked at how much these âweird kinksâ are WAY CLOSER to their own desires, motivations, and practices. They are literally the Pikachu meme:
Donât even get me started on the connections between sex, death, and food. Donât get me started on the ways we describe people like food in both delightful and fucked up ways. Donât get me started on pet names, of urges to consume what we like, on HUNGER, on intensity, and more.
If people actually wanna learn more about what kinks this could relate to, if thatâs part of it for him, since thereâs like a thousand things tangled in it, check out https://www.empresswu.net/blog/whyarepeopleintocannibalism for example!
There could be vore & cannibalism here, amputee fetishism, a desire for medical play, dominance & bondage & submission, blood play, role playing, body modification, prey/predator and capture fantasiesâthe list goes on. This is RICH for discussion & learning tbh.
And if you want more actual kink clinical guidelines, here: http://www.kinkguidelines.com
So mostly this thread is here to demystify and untangle some of the SEXUAL stuff thatâs been raised up due to the DMs.
This thread is NOT about Armie Hammer himself because thatâs an evolving story with real people and concerns beyond what any of us can fathom just yet.
This thread is NOT about Armie Hammer himself because thatâs an evolving story with real people and concerns beyond what any of us can fathom just yet.
This all involves a famous actor, with a lot of power and influence, and various women. Bish for all I know this man is a misogynistic creepâIDK! But donât collapse the dude with the kinks, or assume if heâs a mess that the kinks canât be understood or even done healthily. 
IF A KINK IS NOT PURSUED WITH INFORMED CONSENT AND NUANCE AND ATTENTION TO POSSIBLE HARMS AND ACTUALLY RESPECTING THE HUMANITY OF THOSE INVOLVED, youâre just using kink as a shield for major fuckery and Iâm not here to defend that shit.
AND part of the reason I speak up and educate about this is because I have ALSO seen a ton of people pathologize perfectly fine sexual behaviors & fantasies because they donât understand them and are disgusted or scared or even getting a confused boner about it and are upset 
Gosh, I remember learning about vore in like 2010 or something? And being like WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK IS THIS. And then I read more, got to understand how and why this particular kink works for people and was like â...oh. I see.â 
Thatâs why websites like @KinkAcademy are vital ( http://refer.ccbill.com/cgi-bin/clicks.cgi?CA=942299-0000&PA=2621991&HTML=http://www.kinkacademy.com).
Thatâs why podcasts like @tinahornsassâs âWhy Are People Into That?â are vital to make this shit less mysterious if not less weird.
Thatâs why Iâve worked with orgs like @TheCSPH for YEARS.
Thatâs why podcasts like @tinahornsassâs âWhy Are People Into That?â are vital to make this shit less mysterious if not less weird.
Thatâs why Iâve worked with orgs like @TheCSPH for YEARS.
Anyway you know Iâm gonna resource you further, so here are some books about sexual fantasies overall but SADLY SO MUCH OF THE RESEARCH IS BASED ON CIS HETERO PEOPLE:
Nancy Fridayâs My Secret Garden is a classic (and she has other books about sexual fantasy as well).
Nancy Fridayâs My Secret Garden is a classic (and she has other books about sexual fantasy as well).
Violet Blueâs âUltimate Guide to Sexual Fantasyâ is quite accessible from what I can recall (itâs been a while).
Jack Morin's âErotic Mindâ discusses what he calls âtroublesome turn onsâ and goes into sexual psyche stuff and much nerdery.
Jack Morin's âErotic Mindâ discusses what he calls âtroublesome turn onsâ and goes into sexual psyche stuff and much nerdery.
Thereâs a zine by @megjohnbarker on erotic fantasies: https://megjohnandjustin.com/product/understanding-erotic-fantasies-zine
And @JustinLehmiller has written about this stuff as well.
And @JustinLehmiller has written about this stuff as well.
Books like âPervâ and âWhoâs Been Sleeping In Your Head?â And âA Billion Wicked Thoughtsâ are all about fantasies as well and seeing what trends come up too. So, again, there are places to go if youâre curious.
Anyway. I am too tired to wax poetic about cannibalism and vore and sploshing and BDSM so just listen to that podcast I recâd above & check the links, and rest assured that you yourself are probably way (hopefully non-shittily) freakier than youâre giving yourself credit for 
(P.S. Not gonna lie, the amount of ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS memes coming outta this on Twitter are pure gold though.)
(To closeâitâs worth reiterating again thereâs also a real story and catalyst here, and I want to caution us all against dismissing the possible worries and traumas of the women coming forth about #ArmieHammer stuff. The story is evolving! And maybe heâs an abusive fuckhead!)
Since this thread has taken off I want to make sure this also gets appended to this thread and not be left on its own. I *said this isnât a thread centering AH but but but itâs irresponsible to not give an update* https://twitter.com/neuronbomb/status/1349854161463078919
And you know why I like that post above? Because it points clearly to the need to not focus on the WRONG THING. The shock value of âoh my God he wants to EAT PEOPLE?â is ; whatâs actually critical is the ways it seems he was actually coercive, disrespectful, abusive.
; whatâs actually critical is the ways it seems he was actually coercive, disrespectful, abusive.
