I'm not going to screenshot this because it's full of trigger warnings.

I will just say that this is narcissistic -- even sociopathic-- behavior and women should pay attention to these patterns and avoid them. https://pagesix.com/2021/01/14/armie-hammers-ex-courtney-vucekovich-he-wanted-to-barbecue-and-eat-me/

A key point: She apparently lent him money.

We know Armie Hammer doesn't need money -- so it was a way of showing control, testing how much she would do for him.

Be on the lookout for "tests" like that or if a man makes you feel like you're auditioning. That's a narcissist.

Adding this old mini-thread here. You can see the covert-narcissist signs in the description of Armie Hammer's behavior -- shy, chameleon-like, tearing down her self-worth.

He sounds like a sociopath as well. Please pay attention; you can't change people like this, ever. https://twitter.com/moorehn/status/1284878379901214721

Please know: Narcissists and sociopaths specifically look for high-achieving, empathetic or seemingly vulnerable people. These are markers for codependency (basing your self-worth on someone else's opinion of you). They want to brag about controlling someone who lends prestige.

Covert narcissists are totally different from malignant narcissists like Trump who are brash and loud and obvious.

Covert narcissists are shy; they might openly put themselves down or say they have low self-worth so that you'll feel sorry for them and compliment them...

...but covert narcissists are just as dangerous, if not more. You saw the stories about Ryan Adams, Marilyn Manson and now Armie Hammer. All covert narcissists. They are more likely to trap partners in a deep trauma bond that destroys goals and takes years and ($$) of therapy.

I hope more women (please) learn the signs. Narcissist men start with lovebombing, then turn emotionally abusive and slowly isolate their partners and put them down; the partner tries harder to earn the lost love, which depletes their life and ambitions. Chilling stuff.

For anyone who has been involved with a narcissist (as a parent, teacher, boss, friend or romantic partner) the best way to find out more is actually a YouTube channel of Dr. Ramani, a therapist who specializes in narcissists. She's brilliant.

Also, since I covered Wall Street I saw a LOT of narcissists, obviously, and knew to steer clear of them. One of the clearest signs of a narcissist: They don't care about your feelings. If you tell them they caused harm, they will NOT, EVER, apologize. They'll make it your fault.

There are more warning signs. Also know that there are narcissistic traits -- which a lot of people have -- and actual narcissists. Having one red flag isn't enough; a person would need several to be an actual narcissist.

And the worst part: If you have spent a lot of time around a narcissist, you will ALSO develop narcissistic traits.

That's because the narcissist taught them to you, basically, as examples of how to show power.

This is why a lot of women become enablers of narcissists.

Lastly, narcissists don't look like monsters. They look like Ryan Adam's or Shia LeBoeuf or Armie Hammer -- charismatic, almost sweet sometimes, charming, funny. They are VIVID. They created that personality, that false self, to avoid rejection, so it's usually compelling.

Anyway I've seen this happen to so many women. So many! Smart women. Successful women. Kind women. Beautiful women. The abusive behavior is *only* the narcissist's fault. No partner or friend can change it. Leave and get to rebuilding yourself, preferably with therapy.

Since therapy can be $$$ and not everyone has access, a few things and resources I've learned as I've been reading about psychology:

The key thing is not the narcissist. Fuck that guy. The key thing is finding out what inside you wanted a narcissist, or needed to earn love.

Many are drawn to narcissists bc of childhood needs.

Books that will help people understand why narcissists show up in their lives:

1) Running on Empty by Jonice Webb (how everyone replays childhood patterns of love/neglect)

2) Codependent No More

3) Attached by Levine

And for healing trauma -- or understanding how it works -- nothing (and I mean nothing) is as good as this book, which shows how trauma is stored in our bodies, causing pain and tension.

The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk

Another point that came up: A sure red flag is thinking "I never behave this way." Narcissists thrive on that -- they see making a partner act outside their values as proof of their power and control. That's a big part of the Armie Hammer stories.

By the way, my sources for all this are the books and videos referenced in this thread. This is a summary of them, so I strongly encourage anyone who's interested to explore on their own too. It's all there.