Okay kids, time for a lesson on ~parasocial relationships~

Parasocial relationship: one-sided relationships, where one person extends emotional energy, interest and time, and the other party, the persona, is completely unaware of the other's existence.

Think: your favourite celebrity, your favourite singer, content creator. Actor.

Your fave is not your friend. Here's a good video to watch, by a content creator to his fans. I guarantee you pretty much every single person you admire feels exactly the same way.

But in case you're lazy and don't want to watch the video (although I recommend you do!), here's a summary:

When your fave says "I love you", the 'you' they are talking about is the faceless mass of audience that allows them to do what they do. Not you specifically.

NEVER you specifically. Even if they direct the "I love you" at you, they still don't mean you. You are not their friend. You don't know them, and they certainly don't know you.

A creator who puts it well is Dream:

He hasn't met ALL THE KITTENS. But he knows enough about kittens to know that he appreciates kittens and can make that generalised statement. But he doesn't know them. And they don't know him.

Attaching a tiktok by a creator explaining about how, without lying or being deceitful, his followers don't know him. This is true of pretty much every content creator and celebrity out there.
https://www.tiktok.com/@keyno10/video/6882500598437039361

And again, if you're lazy, a rundown:
Celebrities and creators curate themselves to be a specific version that is displayed to the public eye and their following. It's not deceitful, but it's not the whole story. You don't know your fave, and they don't know you.

And now, Sheendom, for the reason I'm posting this. I'm not gonna lie and say this isn't directed at anyone. It's not an indirect, but we all know exactly what happened for me to be posting this. I'm not gonna tag the person, they've been told.

But I HAVE seen a fair few people giving their thoughts on the situation while also being perpetrators of pretty much the same behaviour. So let's move on to part 2 of my edu-thread: Spam Tagging.

First, a scenario for you.
You go to the theatre and see a play with an actor you really like. After the show, you head round to the stage door to see if the actor will sign your program, and maybe take a selfie with you.

Unfortunately, as you arrive, you see the retreating back of the actor in question, and the door shuts. Other people managed to get their programs signed and their selfies, but not you.

What is the appropriate response to this situation?

1. Buy tickets for the rest of the show's runs and spend the next performances and stage door appearances yelling "pick me, show me attention over everyone else!"

2. Wait outside the stage door until it opens again an hour later and the actor leaves to go home. You follow him, yelling "pay me attention, you missed me the first time, why are you ignoring me?"

3. You leave the stage door and get on your train home. You say to your companions "Wow, that was a shame we missed the actor at the stage door. But I definitely enjoyed the play, and I will remember the play as a good thing."

If you're spamming someone asking for the attention on twitter, then you're just picking one of the first two creepy options in the theatre scenario. It's all but exactly the same. You're just sitting in someone's mentions saying "pick me" over and over,

flooding them until they respond. It's okay to be sad or disappointed that they didn't respond.

Be sad they didn't respond, don't be creepy until they do respond in anger or frustration.

Any one who spam tags is at fault. It doesn't matter if the subject is asking for something for yourself, or asking for something for someone else, or even just expressing love repeatedly for a creator.

It's okay to tag, that's the same as walking around to the stage door. And it's okay for your friends and moots and the fandom to rt and reply and qrt, that's them walking to the stage door with you. But the second you spam over and over in a short space of time? Bad move.

Finally: I don't want to police how everyone should behave or act like I'm some dictator of the fandom, but this shit should be common knowledge by now. And since it's looking like it isn't, I hope this thread helps you all learn a bit. Look after yourselves and be better <3