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I just keep thinking of Armie Hammer’s publicist having to call him and be like “Hey...Arms...you don’t...you don’t eat people, do you?”
“I don’t what?”
“Do you call women kitties and eat people?”
“Ok, hang on, those seem like very different questions to ask in one sentence.”
“...Are they though?”
“Do you call women kitties and eat people?”
“Ok, hang on, those seem like very different questions to ask in one sentence.”
“...Are they though?”
“What the hell is going on, Joel??”
“The internet thinks you eat people and call women Kitties.”
“Who is saying this?”
“All of...the whole internet.”
“Are saying I’m a cannibal?”
“An aspiring one, yes.”
“But not an actual one?”
“...Why would that matter?”
“BECAUSE IT DOES, JOEL!”
“The internet thinks you eat people and call women Kitties.”
“Who is saying this?”
“All of...the whole internet.”
“Are saying I’m a cannibal?”
“An aspiring one, yes.”
“But not an actual one?”
“...Why would that matter?”
“BECAUSE IT DOES, JOEL!”
“Hammy: I need to confirm that you haven’t eaten a person.”
“Of course not!”
“Or that you want to in a disturbingly sexual manner.”
“...”
“Arms? Armie??”
“Joel, I’m an ACTOR, my JOB is embodying the SPECTRUM—-”
“Jesus Christ, I’m calling the lawyer”
“Yeah, probably a good idea”.
“Of course not!”
“Or that you want to in a disturbingly sexual manner.”
“...”
“Arms? Armie??”
“Joel, I’m an ACTOR, my JOB is embodying the SPECTRUM—-”
“Jesus Christ, I’m calling the lawyer”
“Yeah, probably a good idea”.
Imagine if you were the showrunner who staffed me for this little Twitter microplay and the fun story we’d have and the rent I could afford...
