So, it's a funny joke that cis guys who hang out with trans women/in spaces frequented by a lot of trans women often turn out to be trans women themselves, and I'll be the first to admit that this is *very frequently the case*, but I think it does some people a disservice (1/?)

Yes, obviously many people who enjoy the company of trans women may discover something latent in themselves

But I think we understate how difficult it can be, if a cis person genuinely values the company of/lives of trans people, to move in spaces where people very much *don't*

Like yes, they may well be *admitted* to those spaces, and may never *personally* be derided in them, but it's not usually an enjoyable experience to spend a lot of time in spaces or around people who inherently just think the lives of your friends/family are pathetic or risible

Sometimes I see cishet people hit with suspicious questions like "why do you hang out online with so many trans people? why do you know all these trans girl memes?"

And it's not really hard

The alternative to spaces with trans memes is usually spaces with transphobic memes

(There's also the present circumstances to consider

Of late, many of our cis friends haven't been able to hang around their presumably somewhat-less-trans meatspace friends

So they're spending more time online, and as a result, more time in these often very trans spaces)

Anyway, at the risk of sounding like a wet blanket, I don't really love the joke that "everybody who hangs with trans people is closeted", because it seems to me that it kind of reifies a notion that nobody could authentically love and value us other than ourselves

I imagine some of this lack of trust probably emerged out of a hypervigilance around chasers that's progressed to the level of an autoimmune disorder in the trans community

And likely also a gross underestimation of the crossover between queer and neurodiverse spaces

(I really do think queer people in general take for granted the veritable avalanche of incredibly good reasons why cis/het neurodivergent people might feel much, much more comfortable around us than around other people)

Also true, we are riotously funny https://twitter.com/georgetakesajob/status/1349498442532446209