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salutations fellow pervs, i have a few points for other fandom creators out there concerning a subject i don't see often in fics, art, etc: top drop. as a top, it's nice to see this aspect of a relationship reflected in media for validation that we're allowed to be vulnerable.
i'd like to take some time to name a few big issues with top drop and break them down for y'all, as well as how to combat them. this is mostly to help with creative works, but i also hope this helps others moving forward if you decide to apply it personally irl situations ♡
top drop doesn't get addressed for a few primary reasons:
- tops sometimes fear that seeming "weak" will make us "unwanted"
- tops are so focused on caregiving that we forget our own needs
- talking top drop is hard because it's rarely represented in media in a healthy way
- tops sometimes fear that seeming "weak" will make us "unwanted"
- tops are so focused on caregiving that we forget our own needs
- talking top drop is hard because it's rarely represented in media in a healthy way
top drop is similar to bottom drop. symptoms are depression, irritability, shame, or a feeling of being "lost" after a scene ends. when those endorphins fizzle and vulnerability sets in, we normally prioritize bottom aftercare to try coping with impending guilt or shame--
and that's good! part of our aftercare can be giving care. but that's only one aspect of it. tops sometimes feel like we have to be "on" all the time because voicing our needs is "weak" and will make us feel useless to our bottom. there's a sneaky culprit behind the issue...
this flows back to *gasp* 𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘯𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘴. of course, gender is not tied to being able to top or dom, but the foundation of it is based on the patriarchal concept of taking control and hiding our feelings because emotional and physical vulnerability negates dominance
the key to combating this is (as always) communication. but how do you spot top drop if your top is too scared to talk? as with bottom drop, it's crucial to look for nonverbal signs of top drop that are sometimes very easily overlooked after a scene concludes
signs of top drop:
- self-isolation
- emotional exhaustion
- anxiety/irritability
- insecurity or self-image issues
- self-deprecation
if a scene ends and these nonverbal cues show up, a simple "are you okay" or "come talk to me" is a good way to check in and open discussion.
- self-isolation
- emotional exhaustion
- anxiety/irritability
- insecurity or self-image issues
- self-deprecation
if a scene ends and these nonverbal cues show up, a simple "are you okay" or "come talk to me" is a good way to check in and open discussion.
aftercare for a top can be as simple as reassurance that we're wanted and allowed to have emotions. even if everything is chill after a scene, reaffirming that it's ok to be vulnerable is a good way to make it easier for a top to communicate in the future if top drop occurs...
how to "check in" with a top:
- "that felt so good! did you enjoy it too?"
- "can we (cuddle, kiss, etc) and talk?"
- "what was your favorite part of this scene?"
- "do you need anything?"
- "i really appreciate what you did for me"
- "you did really well, thank you"
- "that felt so good! did you enjoy it too?"
- "can we (cuddle, kiss, etc) and talk?"
- "what was your favorite part of this scene?"
- "do you need anything?"
- "i really appreciate what you did for me"
- "you did really well, thank you"
these are just a few examples of creating open dialogue and letting a top know we're valid in our feelings. a little affirmation and kindness is a big step in building trust to ensure a top feels comfortable enough to communicate when we experience top drop.
so, don't be afraid to rep top drop in your works! it's real, valid, and i promise that us tops love knowing that we're seen and it's ok for us to be vulnerable with our bottoms. i hope this was helpful and i will 100% answer any questions y'all might have. thanks for reading! ♡
