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I'm not the first to say it (not close) but I am repeatedly disgusted at the "any accountability is divisive" language -- it's abuser language, moving the work and blame from the people who have caused harm onto the already harmed.
The reason it's super effective in our society and so many are clinging to it now is because we live in a society that loves almost nothing more than blaming victims of violence and abuse for the harm done to them.
It's such an easy and comfortable narrative to adopt. It deflects onto a group we have long trashed, rarely believe, and hold in contempt.
I have said this a lot but there have been actual academic studies about how often the passive voice is used to relay accounts of sexual violence because the passive voice totally erases the abuser and makes it "easier" on the storyteller to tell the story.
The only person or people in the story end up being the harmed. They are are alone the story of their own victimization and all that comes after it. They alone are left to carry that story and its aftermath, its ripples, its consequences.
It's important to recognize that this is often where the story starts in our society when we talk about harm or violence -- we have to actively work to shift even the starting point of the conversation in order to include the person who has done harm. That's deeply unfair.
So if it feels like Work every time you re-orient your brain after reading or hearing the "any accountability is divisive," that's because it is. Every time.
But please keep doing it! Thanks
Last thing, please read up on DARVO: Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender. Once you do, you'll see it everywhere. It's right there and right there and right there. https://dynamic.uoregon.edu/jjf/defineDARVO.html
