Sometimes I think long and hard ab how COMPLETELY LONELY canon Dazai must be. He masks away himself so perfectly all the time and the facade that he shows stands for almost everyone/friend or foe/ He doesnt share even his interests or fancies with anyone/ much less his strengths

or weaknesses. Irl, we can't even go on a day without actually talking to anyone. Sure enough the ADA might be considered friends for him. But not like...friend friend. And immediately after Oda died, not only did he stray away from the PM, the only thing close to a family he's

ever had in his life but worse of all, he was utteraly alone for the 4 years that he went undercover. No nothing, no one at all. That must have been an excruiciating experience for anyone, just basking in the guilt you collected for so long with no one to reassure him. This has

been said and acknowledged too many times in the fd already I know but I just sometimes can't help thinking why he's so broken and it always leads back to this.

Im sorry if this doesnt make sense-