During my brief time w Capitol Police, we expected Representatives to walk around security. We were expected to facially recognize all 100 Senators & maybe the top 100 congressional reps. They’d run past yelling who they were. No biggie. It was when they brought groups through...

When they ‘vouched’ for fifty randos from their district, we were supposed to get a supervisor who would, way after the fact, ask the senate sgt at arms to maybe kinda politely ask the members to not do that again. Which they always would. The entitlement of the pin was absolute.

It was the least political job I would ever have, except maybe CIA. All we knew was how the members treated us, the people who drove them to work and sat outside their house and kept people from killing them in their offices. It was such a clear bipartisan divide: jerk or nice.

On senate protection I spent nights outside Sen majority leader Tom Daschle’s house. He’d come out and give us cookies. Literally cookies. Stayed outside Sen Leahy’s house after the anthrax attack & he gave me his garage remote so I would stop peeing in his bushes. That was funny

Sen Orin Hatch was really nice. Sen Lott was a real jerk. Sen Ted Kennedy was amazingly rude. Sen Pete Fitzgerald was cool cuz he’d run past security yelling ‘I’m Senator Peter Fitzgerald from Illinois’. Sen Hillary Clinton was incredibly nice. Sen Judd Gregg ran me over.

One time for some reason I was on an overnight detail for Rep Nancy Pelosi (she did not care for us, which I got, I barely care for me). While crossing the street to check in with the building, I walk in front of a car. Car stops. I get huffy, show my badge & my $120 suit + belt.

Car stops short. I thought it was a UFO. Turns out it’s a Lotus. And Michael Jordan gets out. I had just heard him on the radio play for the Wizards (this was December 2001-ish). He gets out & asks if I’m ok. I try to act tough but all I can do is giggle & breath in his cologne.

Not joking. He smelled like dollar bills and liquid awesome mixed in a blender. He was really nice. Asked if I was ok after I stepped out in front of traffic. I know I meant to say ‘I’m fine, just watch your speed’ or something but it came out like ‘hee hee hee marry me yes?’

Once I had to take Sen Trent Lott, that era’s more tan Mitch McConnell, all 4 blocks from his house to the Capitol. He demanded I run the 2 red lights. We agreed to disagree by me acting like I was deaf & liking to stop every 10 feet to ask if was ok.. never w/ him again...