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I've been doing some thinking on the idea of control lately. As someone with an anxiety disorder, a lot of the therapy I've gone to has discussed control. Feeling severely out of control contributes to my anxiety. There's an idea called the "window of tolerance"
Basically, what you can tolerate can vary day by day based on external or internal pressures. The reason I share this is that sometimes anxiety manifests itself in trying to control others. Not always, but sometimes. Right now in the world, a lot of people are struggling.
As a whole, I would argue that almost everyone has a very narrow window of tolerance right now. So with that, I think a bit of the behavior we're seeing (not all, and this doesn't give a free pass,) are people feeling out of control in their own lives and are projecting onto B/TS
It's ok to be concerned about someone, but think critically about WHY you are concerned. Is it because you are afraid they will burn out? And if you are, are you afraid not only for them but for yourself and the possibility of not having them? Maybe dig deeper to find the root.
Fears are valid, and compassion is important and necessary. But instead of whipping yourself into a concern frenzy and making accusations, think about what you CAN control and what you can't. The truth is, you cannot control them. They are in charge of their own lives
They have agency, just like you do. So with your agency, focus on what you can control, even if it's something as small as wiggling your big toe. (I kid you not, that has helped me stem off a panic attack before.) But also think about your space. You CAN control your timeline.
You can control who you're following. Before retweeting or liking something that stirs up fear or resentment, think about WHY you are doing so. Again, I'm not saying this is the cause of all behavior we're seeing, nor do I excuse it. But it's been on my mind and I wanted to share
