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we all have our issues whether we’re feeling hella stressed out from work or school, we’re having a really shitty day, or other more serious things. with that being said these are not excuses to treat someone, especially someone we say we love, poorly.
yes, these things may provide a reasoning behind why we snapped on someone, cut them off while they were talking, or disrespected them in some capacity, whether big or small. however, that doesn’t justify the action or the behavior. theres still a level of damage being inflicted.
and so i think it’s important to hold ourselves and others (if you’re on the receiving end of this treatment) accountable. if the damage has already been done, it’s so important for one to acknowledge what one did & apologize for that.
one can provide a reason for why one acted or reacted the way one did, but ultimately acknowledge that that doesn’t justify their behavior & one will make the necessary adjustments and reflections on said behavior.
if one is on the receiving end of this treatment, don’t be afraid to call it out and questions. “why did you react this way? do you believe this was an appropriate response? is there a situation you experienced in which someone treated you this way, & how did that make you feel?”
and once dialogue is created, it can end with, “i understand you reacted this way because of xyz, but these are not justifiable reasons as to why you treated me this way. do you understand how your behavior/words/actions were hurtful?”
& have the person reiterate what one has explained to them so that they can demonstrate that they really internalize how their words/actions/behavior impacted the person on the receiving end. holding up a mirror to someone so they can see themselves can make quite the difference.
so hopefully this sort of discussion can lead to changed behavior as well as a lot more mindfulness of not repeating said behavior.
