1/ It’s important how you name your child as the new Woke Totalitarianism intensifies in the future. It is becoming important that you consider how their name will affect their online reputation once they are grown up and making adolescent mistakes on social media.

2/ There is a humorous phenomenon in the Philippines where you will encounter the weirdest and outlandish names. It’s not unusual to meet people with made-up names or people who have names that just shouldn’t be. Just check out @GomezAnally for one example.

3/ This article mentions guys in the Philippines with names as wild as “Hitler Manila” (who I read in another article has a brother called Goebbels) and Jejomar which is a combo of Jesus, Joseph and Mary. https://www.wsj.com/articles/SB1019080883709332640

4/ One of the reasons Pinoys have unusual names (amongst various reasons) is because their woeful bureaucratic system finds it impossible to differentiate between people with the same name. If you have the same name as someone “problematic” you’re gonna have issues.

5/ This manifests in getting rejected for mobile phone contracts because you share the same name as someone who hasn’t paid their credit card bill, or having to prove you aren’t your serial killer namesake when applying for a university place.

6/ The Filipino solution to ensure your child doesn’t encounter these bureaucratic hurdles is to give your child the most unique and bizarre name possible so that the chances of them encountering this problem are reduced to almost zero. Hence: Bong Bong Rectally Lopez.

7/ As a westerner about to enter the epoch of Woke Techno-Crapitalism - you need to do the exact opposite. In an era where online reputation is more and more your entire reputation and the factor that can decide employability - it will pay for your child to have a common name.

8/ The John Smiths of the world will have a distinct advantage when it is more difficult to dig up information on them from an online search. Even if they do commit a Thought Crime there is a good chance it will get buried if not too serious a matter.

9/ Another good option is to name your child after somebody famous. If your son is called “Michael Bolton” and inadvertently blurts out the n-word one day - any report on that will safely be buried on page 4,283 of Google search results.

10/ I’m not saying this will be a lasting solution as I am sure technology will evolve to find a way around this, but bureaucracy and government and lazy HR managers can always be relied upon to be incompetent so it buys some reputation management time at least.