Can we talk for a bit about looking (and being) "ethnically ambiguous"? .

This is a thread I've been wanting to write for a while, but I have been afraid of the response. So here we go.

For my whole life, at LEAST a few times every year I get this question: "Logan, what *ARE* you?". In normal circumstances, this question would be rather confusing. But I receive it so often I know exactly what people mean: they can't ethnically classify me, so "what are you?"

I usually make a joke out of this (bc it's awkward) and I ask people what they think I "am" (note the essentializing language). Most common guesses: Lebanese, Iraqi, Israeli, hispanic. But also sometimes (not often) people just say I'm white but kind of tan.

The pluriform ways that people perceive me has played out in curious ways in my life. I have been treated as if I am white and as if I am not white. It depends on the circumstance. A few examples:

When I was in grade school (California), the other kids didn't treat me (or talk about me) as if I was "ethnic" or "exotic" bc they thought I was white *in comparison to the black students*. For this reason for a while I also considered myself straightforwardly "white".

But it didn't take long for me to realize that police treated me differently. My neighbourhood was mostly white, so I probably looked "sketchy" (=brown) to anyone who saw me in that neighbourhood. One time, I was detained by an officer while literally walking home by myself,

even though I was ONE STREET from my house. The officer asked me where I was going, but he didn't believe me when I said I told him what street I lived on (implied: you're not white, and this area is mostly white, so you're lying).

One time a white woman randomly came up to me in a bookstore (in Utah) and said "salaam alaikum" based solely on what I looked like.

When I worked at a coffee shop in LA a random customer asked me if I was related to "him"—she pointed to the only other brown guy in the room.

My mom tells me I need to shave my (usually short) beard before I go to the airport because I will get stopped at security.

I usually get stopped.

Last year in the town square of Durham (England) I saw my friend. She was standing with a guy whom I didn't know. It was broad daylight, with people all around. I walked up to her to say hello. As I approach, the guy draws back & looks afraid. I then just say hello to her,

and the guy responds "OH MY GOSH—do you KNOW him? I thought we were about to get MUGGED! Oh wow. PHEW." I was so baffled by how absurd this reaction was that I didn't know what to do. But I bet you if a posh beardless white brit walked up, he wouldn't have had that reaction.

So: *depending on how people perceive my ethnicity*, at times I am the recipient of privilege, and at other times I am the recipient of discrimination (the latter usually not in any severe way, however). The point is not to say that I am marginalized or disenfranchised (I am not)

The point is that my experience illustrates how racial privilege/discrimination depends on how people perceive and classify people as certain ethnicities. This, however, can change with time, and can change depending on the people doing the perceiving and classifying.

To answer the question, "What am I"?—I am Sicilian, which means I look mixed. Sicilians are a mixture of people from North Africa, Greece, Italy & the Levant. This is why people can't figure out my ethnicity. Most people wrongly assume that Sicilians are just like other Italians.

When Sicilians and other Southern Italians—who look(ed) much darker than Northern Italians—migrated to the US in the early 20th century, they were met with discrimination on the basis of their appearance, more often than Northern Italians.

(CW: Violence) One of the most deadly mass lynchings in American history was on March 14, 1891 in New Orleans, when 11 Sicilians were lynched. The lynching was motivated by racialized hatred of Sicilians. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/March_14,_1891_New_Orleans_lynchings

Here's a film adaptation of racialized rhetoric contrasting Italians (=white) with Sicilians (=black). It's intense, but it captures the discourse of the time.

(CW: racial slurs, violence)

But now, Sicilians/other Italians are considered "white", and the memory of their experience of racism is mostly all but forgotten in the public consciousness. https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2019/10/12/opinion/columbus-day-italian-american-racism.html

So on paper, because my ethnicity falls under "Italian", I am white. On job apps, I count as white. On the census, I am white. For all statistical purposes, I am white. But am I white? Most people don't think so.

Here's what's certain: classifying me as white does not accurately reflect my or my Sicilian-American ancestors' experiences.

The way we or institutions ethnically classify people can end up erasing the lived experiences of many, both past and present. /END