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400 follower special! 1 like = 1 thought about relationships, platonic and otherwise
1/ singing together is a source of true intimacy in any type of relationship, if you can get over the initial embarrassment or desire to polish yourself.
2/ I like radical honesty, but not the "walking stream of consciousness" kind. I want to think about what I have to say before I say it, but I would rather not bend what I have to say to make it easier. If you're not thinking about the other person, it's just a monologue.
3/ I know I really trust someone when I can complain to them about something they did, when I can apologize for something without putting obligation on them to forgive me, and when I can tell them a joke I know will make me laugh and only make them chuckle.
4/ You really can only have so many friends of a given level/kind of intimacy. Many kinds of intimacy are more scalable, but lots of non-scalable intimacy is priceless. Ruminate on what kinds of intimacy are truly fertile for you.
5/ Holding hands in kindergarten was as good as sex is now, it's just different.
6/ I really don't think my partner cheating would necessarily be a relationship-ender. It truly depends on circumstances and such, which is something I guess makes me feel different than a lot of people I've talked to.
7/ The weird political power dynamic around that's developed around blowjobs & cunnlingus seems super unhealthy. Obviously lots of these things are, but this is one area in which lots of people would have very personal preferences that override politics, but are now impeded.
8/ The times I have most regretted were times when my friend was trying to tell me something and I wasn't really "there" even though I was listening in some shallow sense. Then the moment passes, they feel not quite heard, and it's gone forever. Sorry friends <3
9/ I would probably be poly in some sense if I had total free rein, but negotiating boundaries with the kind of people I'm traditionally able to hit it off with makes this almost impossible.
10/ I say "able to hit it off with" above, because I'm attracted to an enormous amount of people, but just quickly get turned off when I realize they're likely not going to let me be myself so I would have to woo them through a kind of acting.
11/ I've half-lost many friends because once we stop seeing each other every day they expect calls to be about canonically Important life events and I stop feeling like I have a real way to tell them what's on my mind without them decontextualizing it into something meaningless.
12/ I have a lot of close friends, but I have less friends in a while that I can just call up because everyone's got their own ship and I feel like I'm intruding pretty easily these days. In high school and college I would just call people randomly and I think that's the way.
13/ Having "your song" with someone is Good. doesn't have to be a romantic relationship at all.
14/ It used to be that most of my friends would see me naked relatively regularly, but now we're all adults and it honestly makes me feel way too distant, serious, and formal. The West needs to learn about bathhouse culture and still destroy gender norms.
15/ Teasing friends is important, but I never know where the boundaries are. ( https://crispychicken.cc/2020/06/26/my-struggle-with-literalism/) I feel so safe and happy when I cross what someone wants, they tell me why, and then give me a big hug to show me everything is good between us.
16/ My feeling is that in the West we want friends to be less about common interests and more about soulmate style bonds, but that this backfires: since there is very little tying people to one another practically, the idea of soulmates becomes very replaceable for most.
17/ I find it very easy to become many peoples bestfriend because I'm so curious about what other people's inner worlds are like and there are so many people just dying to tell you if you give them a safe space, silence, and initiate with your own honesty.
18/ to me, the best time with friends is “adventuring”—setting aside an entire day and going to discover what destiny holds for you all. I can have fun with activities, but often I can’t help but feel that anything but raw freedom is contrived.
19/ I can’t help but feel that 90% of hangouts with more than 8 people lose most of their intimacy
20/ rituals in which you sacrifice some pleasure to be present with another person are Good. I miss sharing one earpiece of a headphone with friends.
21/ When I meet someone I want to get straight to the heart of them. People who expect a lot of lead-up bore me, not because they are boring but because I’m worried once I understood who they really are I’ll so no real reason to be close to them.
22/ I hate the neccesity of gift giving on things like birthdays, but as I get older and there aren’t large birthday parties full of randos I see how it sets a nice rhythm to having some deep reflection about your relationship.
23/ A part of me wishes there could be “out of game” rooms where everyone could talk openly and convivially about their love and hate for things and each other, with the understanding that when they step out of the room it’s back to business as usual.
24/ Playing videogames is a really good way to grow your relationship with your partner.
24/ I firmly believe it’s good to shit on people behind their back as long as you’re being honest. You all have my blessing to shit on me in public and private. Smack me down when you feel it’s right.
25/ I used to always end up annoying friends my getting to be a little too much. Then I became political (career-wise) and busy and it’s actually balanced things out. Now I always feel like I never have enough time with friends but the time I get is absolurely precious and joyous
26/ I have kissed many of my friends on a dare, and it is a little secret that brings us closer together.
27/ I used to try to makw friends out of strangers in random places, but stopped because I found too many of them boring and annoying but I didn’t know how to get them off my tail after we met up a second time.
28/ I judge almost all of my friends in at least one very Intense way. But overall this has made me accepting of the variance between people and I delight in the challenge of working past my own judgement.
29/ No one I have known well has ever even come close to agreeing with my general views on ethics.
30/ I was always the person who wanted us to try to Do something e.g. start a band, write a book, write letters every week, and I was usually let down by my friends, so I learned not to expect too much out of people together, but to try to being something and see if they join me.
31/ I consider it a Duty to be really good in bed.
