Teddy Roosevelt rode actual moose, knew judo, flew planes, fought in a war while seated bare-assed on a horse, stopped a bullet with his goddamn nipple and hunted tigers with his motherfucking teeth. His mustache was classified as a deadly weapon in most states.
Trump: https://twitter.com/eliza_relman/status/1348733447385309185
Trump: https://twitter.com/eliza_relman/status/1348733447385309185
Abraham Lincoln split goddamn rails with an axe for a living between wrestling actual Kentuckians by raising them off the ground and shaking them before they lost the will to live.
Trump:
Trump:
Andrew Jackson was called Old Hickory because he was such a hardy horse rider, they said his ass was made of the toughest wood. He was the first target of a presidential assassination attempt, which didn't succeed because he beat his assassin half to death with a cane.
Trump:
Trump:
Fuck, find me one president who was LESS masculine than Trump! And don't say Buchanan, that's homophobic.
In fact, he is less masculine than the opponent he defeated!
In fact, he is less masculine than the opponent he defeated!