Teddy Roosevelt rode actual moose, knew judo, flew planes, fought in a war while seated bare-assed on a horse, stopped a bullet with his goddamn nipple and hunted tigers with his motherfucking teeth. His mustache was classified as a deadly weapon in most states.
Trump: https://twitter.com/eliza_relman/status/1348733447385309185
Abraham Lincoln split goddamn rails with an axe for a living between wrestling actual Kentuckians by raising them off the ground and shaking them before they lost the will to live.
Trump:
Andrew Jackson was called Old Hickory because he was such a hardy horse rider, they said his ass was made of the toughest wood. He was the first target of a presidential assassination attempt, which didn't succeed because he beat his assassin half to death with a cane.
Trump:
Fuck, find me one president who was LESS masculine than Trump! And don't say Buchanan, that's homophobic.
In fact, he is less masculine than the opponent he defeated!
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