When you see the medics and key workers going through hell dealing with #Covid19, not for money or fame but because it needs doing, it's really humbling

/1

It shows you the best of humanity, and, in some small way, makes you look at yourself and wonder "could I do that? Do I have it in me?" And, honestly, I don't know.

/2

Not that this is a problem, at least not for me. I try to do what I can and be a decent person, and I've dealt with a great deal of trauma lately myself, but we all do what we can to get by. There's nothing wrong with that.

/3

But, if felt deep down that I didn't really deserve to be where I am, if I hadn't felt I'd earned what I'd got, or had even been underhanded in getting/keeping it, seeing thousands of heroes every day would likely unsettle me greatly

/4

The human brain is a very defensive organ, and we've evolved to think of ourselves in the best possible light. Aside from disorders and the like, we *all* think we're good and in the right, at least at the subconscious level.

/5

This can often become self-reinforcing. If you end up thinking or doing something unusual, your brain often concludes that it was the right thing to do, because it's *you* doing it. Simple, right? And thus the illusion of self-importance is maintained

/6

But this self-reinforcing system of the brain only goes so far. We're still at the mercy of our senses. What we experience directly tends to carry more weight than what we think up. And societal influences are really powerful. We're such social creatures.

/7

So, if you're someone who thinks they're great for questionable reasons, suddenly being bombarded with images of thousands of people being legit heroic for no obvious personal gain is going to seriously disrupt your sense of self, your ego. And that's unpleasant.

/8

So, if you're someone who hasn't earned what success they have, or obtained/sustained it via morally questionable means, and you're confronted by those on the #Covid19 front line, you've two options

1. Accept that they're better than you
2. Deny that any of it is real

/9

I'm not saying this explains why the most privileged, pampered 'contrarian' pundits so often end up becoming #Covid19 deniers.

But it wouldn't surprise me in the slightest if it was the case

/end