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So, I've spent the past three hours working with my little boy on my knee. His mum was exhausted, so I took him and he sat (squirmed) me while I worked... I've done this at least once a day since returning to work (Tristan was born at the beginning of the pandemic) 1/x
... at the same time almost once a day, someone will tell me how lucky I am to have worked from home and seen Tristan grow up. While I appreciate the sentiment, and that it has been said without any malice... the statement fills me with dread whenever I hear it. 2/x
Every day, literally every day, I worry about my boy... In normal circumstances, we would have had extra support from our parents when we needed it (especially after tricky nights). But not during the pandemic - "but you can have support bubbles" sure, but no... 3/x
On both sides, we have vulnerable parents, and we haven't been able to isolate - so we cant access that support, it's just not worth the risk. Tristan has only known us for his first 10 months. "it takes a village"... we haven't had access to the hamlet! 4/x
I wonder whether I'm being a good dad and "doing it right" almost every day, but I don't have any feedback or examples to follow. We haven't been able to go to baby groups or anything... how does anyone ever know if they are actually a good parent? 5/x
sometimes, working with him sat on my knee feels like particularly bad parenting... maybe it isn't, I just don't know. I wish we had the option to get some support if we needed it, but it just doesn't exist.
... today I opened up and this for the first time... 6 /x
... today I opened up and this for the first time... 6 /x
"at least you don't have to worry about homeschooling" - OK, sure, I can appreciate that. But it's not as if caring for a baby is exactly easy - I can't calmy ask him to calm down if he needs to cry or poop during a meeting. And I'm still trying to teach him... 8/x
What really worries me is that he isn't getting interaction with any other babies and building those social skills. He's also not getting any runny noses or building up his immune system. I don't know what the impact of that will be, and no one seems to be able to tell me? 9/x
So yes, it's been great watching him grow... but being in lockdown with a baby still worries me... I am worried for him. Every time I go shopping I worry about bringing back the virus and me and my wife getting sick - who would care for him? 10/x
This isn't a cry for help, I'm doing fine, my mental health is good.... and I'm told that constantly worrying about your baby is just a standard symptom of parenting (probably not helped by a pandemic)... just a note to say that everyone has their own worries at the moment 11/x
A big thing I see everywhere is that everyone is struggling with work-life balance... because everything happens in the same place, this certainly applies to me. I've bottle-fed 'T' during a few meetings over the past couple of weeks. Fortunately no one minds 12/x
I don't think that anyone has "benefited" from the global situation, and I know most new parents I know are actually all kinda terrified... Everyone is just doing their best. Myself, I'm just trying to be the best and most balanced dad/academic/husband/college I can be. 13/x
...I know that I don't always get the ballance right.
... another day, we try again. Look after yourself everyone, we are all doing the best we can. 14/x
... another day, we try again. Look after yourself everyone, we are all doing the best we can. 14/x
