1/ Therapists who endlessly soothe & validate are not doing therapy & likely don't know how. Some snippets illustrating real vs pretend therapy:

Patient: [cries] 
pretend therapist: hands pt tissues
real therapist: [when crying subsides] Can you put those tears into words?

2/ Patient: He abused me 
pretend therapist: You've suffered through so much.
real therapist: Tell me what you mean.

3/ Patient: I feet unsafe
pretend therapist: You need to protect yourself
real therapist: Help me understand what thoughts and feeling are coming up.

4/ Patient: I'm so anxious right now.
pretend therapist: Let's work on our breathing exercises.
real therapist: Tell me what's coming to mind just now.

5/ Patient: I don't want to be with someone who treats me this way.
pretend therapist: Let's make a plan to leave this bad relationship.
real therapist: You're of two minds. Part of you wants to leave, but something has been keeping you there.

6/ Have an example of real vs. pretend therapy? Please share your own snippet!