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I've been very open about Newfoundland, highlighting some of the greatest moments of my life, but it also did something else. It made me hate the color of my skin for a long time.
Being the only south asian kid, I already felt out of place, but was blessed to have been warmly welcomed when I arrived by the greatest people. Right away, I felt I had to assimilate. The closer I was to this idea of a "White Canadian" , the better I would fit in, I thought.
Right away, I forgot my mother tongue of "Gujarati" because I had to learn French. Life continued, accent changed , had some encounters with racism, but nothing that I gave too much thought to. Years later, those few moments would creep up in more recent conversations.
From listening to Hip Hop at 13 and having this kid called it "n****r music ", which pushed me into listening to whatever hair metal they were listening to. Some kid on the bus calling me "sand n ****r " and laughing, and some other stuff that I tried shrugging off at the time.
After moving to Calgary, I felt so overwhelmed by the "diversity", especially at my school (Gr 10 -12) , which had the exact population as the entire NL town I lived in prior. Why was I feeling out of place when there are people that now look like me?
I wanted to fit in so bad, and still I would always suck up. I'd even find myself defending people who were clearly being discriminatory. I found myself having this weird hatred towards South Asians, and in turn, myself.
It took many years of unlearning, and I still to this day find myself slipping. After getting involved with folks from my community, I've been able to see things from a lense that I didn't have before.
I tweet this because there is a horrifying rise in alt right groups in Atlantic Canada , a lot we don't know about mostly because there are not many poc in NL, especially in rural areas.
This is an important issue, especially with more immigrants coming into Canada, it would break my heart to know of 10 year old kids feeling lost as it is, and then having to face discrimination.
The amount of misinformation being spread in Newfoundland cannot be ignored. When 20 people in a community have an extreme view in a rural NL town, that view spreads fast, just like the small town rumors do.
Thankful for my great friends who I'm still in contact with from NL, many of whom have been awesome and have been calling out what's distrubingly wrong.
I've always talked to my partner about retiring in NL, but after visiting in 2018, that idea was sadly dropped. Overhearing conversations of "They are taking over" when POC literally take up 0.8% , was odd to hear lol.
Ask yourself, are you comfortable with the thought that "your" town of 2000 people being occupied by maybe even 800 brown people? What do you think the community would say? I'm scared even imagining that conversation.
This was a lot harder to type out than I thought. Gonna throw my phone away temporarily now lol.
I'd like to add, I've lost many friends to these groups, and it hurts me everyday.
Just to add : I was very lucky to have the greatest teachers while growing up in NL. Only support from Day 1. Some kids don't always have this.
It starts at home, then classrooms.
It starts at home, then classrooms.
Thank you for all the kind messages. I didn't expect seeing people who I personally knew, reach out and apologize for specific incidences of my past that my brain actually seemed to have archived. If young people can apologize, grow and CHANGE, there is no excuse for adults.
Start by talking to your parents when you see or hear them say something that isn't okay. Talk to people within your own friends circle. And if you're a minority living in NL, do know that you don't have to use self deprecating racial "humor" to fit in. Thank you for reading. 
