Joking aside, this scene is a great example of classic #spn contradiction: Sam & Dean speak of themselves as Dean =closed book emotionally/Sam = always wants to talk feelings. This is true of how they approach cases but rarely of their own issues. Sam can’t vocalize his emotions.

While Dean is lecturing Kat (person he is saving) for getting herself into this situation, Sam is exploring the fact that the ghost wasn’t trying to hurt him, which Dean didn’t notice at all due to his black/white approach to monsters. That’s where the stereotype comes from. #spn

But it does not apply to every situation & definitely not to them personally. So far we have seen Dean open up with comfortable & adept language to Lucas about his fear & pain losing mom (1x03), to Sam about his treatment of their Dad (1x08) & re: going home (1x09). #spn

He also doesn’t shy away from STARTING conversations about emotions. He spends much of 1x02 trying to get Sam to talk about his grief as it warps into anger & 1x04 & 1x05 he initiates conversations about Sam’s sleeplessness & nightmares, which Sam immediately shuts down. #spn

Sam may be taking a cue from Dean’s “no chick flick moments” rule, undoubtedly something inherited from John’s parenting style, but text also makes it clear that Sam & John’s clashes often came about from how much they had in common. That’s just how Sam handles his issues. #spn

Despite having a Dean who would always have listened, Sam doesn’t really know how to talk about feelings. He’s far more introspective whereas Dean tries to be like Dad in that regard but opens up to people often & benefits from that kind of engagement in way Sam rarely does. #spn

Sure, there are things Dean locks up about & represses, but some important distinctions:

1. The biggest thing about Dean that we rarely (but still comparatively often) learn about directly from Dean are his abandonment issues & degree to which he loves Sam & wants him near. #spn

Only 10 eps in pattern has already emerged: if something else is in control of Dean or he is confronted by something not quite Sam, those insecurities get vocalized. Shifter in 1x06 & confrontation with ghost possessed!Sam here in 1x10 but it will be a running theme through #spn.

That’s why speech he gives in finale showcases growth & maturation. He feared speaking those insecurities out loud would make it clear to Sam how much more he needs him than vice versa but grows to understand that’s not it, he’s not undeserving of or unwanted by his brother. #spn

2. The things Dean tries to repress & avoid discussing always burst out of him eventually which is not true of Sam. Think about how much he tried to bottle up Hell & how much his heart spills out & how vividly he is able to express that trauma when he finally tells Sam. #spn

Now think about how little we learn of Sam’s Hell trauma through Sam talking about it rather than because we see his hallucinations or because Dean observes his behavior. We know exactly what happened to Dean in Hell. He told us (Sam). We would know nothing of Cage that way. #spn

Or we can look at their trauma from being a vessel, which we see a ton more screentime exploring from Sam’s POV than Dean re: Michael, but Dean is the one who gives us the speech that makes it feel concrete without us seeing, that really evocative description of drowning. #spn

Aside from 1 conversation with Rowena where most of his ability to vocalize comes from fact that she is expressing exactly same trauma he felt, Sam doesn’t TELL us those things about his possession. He acts on it. Flinches at noises, the way he shuts down near Lucifer, etc. #spn

Many will be tempted to say this is because they didn’t give Jared lines or #spn focused on Sam’s trauma & ignored Dean’s. I’ve seen these arguments from maligned fans on both sides & I’m not interested in arguing about whether your bro of choice was mistreated by narrative.

Not saying those arguments aren’t sometimes correct, but they are outside-text explanations for inside-text behaviors & I’m much more concerned with how treatment of narrative created these characters than whether it was fair. Regardless of why, this is how they manifested. #spn

I’m fascinated by these boys because of things like this. They express emotions so differently & even misunderstand their own dynamic in doing so. That they both got so much screen time & we connect to them so much we still argue they needed more. There’s just so much there. #spn

That over years they learn to read each other’s opposite languages. So that Dean knows when Sam feels cornered by past trauma even if Sam is just saying it with a look. So that Sam knows when to push because Dean does need to talk about it, even if he protests & Sam listens. #spn

I wouldn’t want them expressing themselves same, even though these conflicting communication styles are often at root of their misunderstandings & conflicts with each other. There’s definitely times it might have served story to see more from Dean or to hear more from Sam. #spn

But there’s also richness in a narrative that gives characters the form of expression that is true to them. I’m not saying it’s perfectly done. I’m not even saying it’s consciously done. I’m just saying it’s there & it’s, to borrow a word from Sam, interesting. #spn

In this essay, I will