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There’s been a lot of discussion about sexual harassment, particularly in the workplace, on my timeline recently. I’ve seen this too many times before. Why does this keep happening in our movement? Let’s talk.
Statistically, 81% of women and 43% of men will experience some form of sexual harassment during their lifetime. The sad truth is that if it hasn’t been you, it very likely has been someone you know and care about.
I’ve been open about my experiences in the past, but don’t usually detail. I want to talk about one instance in particular, though. A few years ago, my coworkers & I were out getting drinks & enjoying one another’s company.
Throughout the night, a man we worked with became increasingly flirtatious with me. He had made suggestive comments toward me before, but until then I had assumed it was misguided flattery or humor.
It was clear that I was uncomfortable from his advances, but I didn’t want to make a scene. After several attempts to casually brush him off, my coworkers stepped in to provide some physical distance.
It worked for a little while.. until he came back, deliberately and forcefully wedging himself next to me. From there his behavior escalated quickly, as right in front of my team, he began to touch my hair, neck, and thighs.
We left in an Uber. My coworkers, both men and women, asked me if I was okay. I said I was fine and that we should talk about something else. I was embarrassed & wondered if I had done something that gave him the wrong impression.
We got to our Airbnb and retired for the night, but before I went to bed one of my male coworkers stopped by my room to make sure I was really okay. It meant a lot.
The next morning, I told leadership what had happened. They believed me immediately, apologized, and rearranged my schedule so I could avoid meetings with him that day.
The matter was immediately looked into by an attorney. The organization severed ties with the individual, and has not worked with him since.
In this instance, I was lucky. We work in a field that is stressful. I can’t imagine the added anxiety and/or depression I would have felt over not feeling protected by my team and not being believed by leadership.
The truth is that all too often, incidents like this, and worse, are swept under the rug. Victims are gaslit, fired, or otherwise intimidated. Reports are never actually filed or investigated.
I will forever be grateful that my team had my back that night. I know that not everyone has that support and it breaks my heart.
Women in our movement deserve better. We need people who will take our safety seriously. Asking to feel secure and respected in the workplace isn’t asking for a lot — it is the bare minimum.
Sexual harassment is all too common, in all organizations or businesses, on all sides of the political aisle, in all industries. We can’t decide who it happens to, when it happens, or where it happens — but we can all decide how we respond.
Choose to support people. Have empathy. Take people’s concerns seriously. Look into things when they are brought to your attention. Choose not to make excuses for inappropriate behavior. Take action when it is warranted.
You can’t know whether or not accusations are true if you don’t investigate. You can’t choose not to investigate just because you’re uncomfortable or afraid of what you might find.
I want my followers to know that if you’ve experienced sexual harassment - or if God forbid you ever do - my dms are open. I’ll listen. We can all do better.
