Read on Twitter
I love Twitter, but Twitter won't let my tweets thrive. I will be continuing to tweet, and those tweets will always be about Twitter, but I'll be doing it through Facebook.
Utterly Joycean. https://twitter.com/seanmdav/status/1347778107143573505
Utterly Joycean. https://twitter.com/seanmdav/status/1347778107143573505
Twitter does not care for my tweets. To @jack, I am infinitely small and irrelevant, less than an atom on the world wide web. I will continue to worship Twitter however.
Iä! Iä! The Blue Bird of the Web with a Thousand Opinions!
Utterly Lovecraftian.
Iä! Iä! The Blue Bird of the Web with a Thousand Opinions!
Utterly Lovecraftian.
@jack is a gigantic holy terror, a fierce tyrannical monster who frightened the life out of users and advertisers alike. His hatred of users is so great he denies ever having been a user himself. He has hair all over, saying it makes him look 'tall and grand'.
Utterly Dahlesque.
Utterly Dahlesque.
I sealed my phone in a brick wall so it would die and Twitter would stop annoying me. But, oh God! I put it on charge before I sealed it! Now every time I enter my cellar I hear the Twitter notifications screaming at me! My only option is to burn the house down.
Utterly Poesque.
Utterly Poesque.
I, a determined but conventional Scotland Yard detective, regularly visit Twitter, just to consult it on problems that have come to my intention. Although, against my best wishes at times, Twitter believes there is a simple, elementary answer to these problems.
Utterly Doylean.
Utterly Doylean.
Twitter came to me from far off, getting in the way of life and causing untold destruction across the greatest powers in the world. It was the beginning of the rout of civilization, of the massacre of mankind.
Utterly Wellsian.
Utterly Wellsian.
Twitter has suspended Trump, alongside all the replicant Trump accounts he attempted to post from. The question is, does a Twitter account have the right to exist? Should it have the same social standing as, for example, a human being?
Utterly Dickian.
Utterly Dickian.
Following a comic misunderstanding, a tweet has resulted in multiple suicides, a longwinded thread from a private account that no one else can read, and a budding romance between two people who've misunderstood one another's gender.
Utterly Shakespearean.
Utterly Shakespearean.
I am a little boy who wants more likes and Twitter is a mean workhouse owner who only gives me a little likes.
Utterly Dickensian.
Utterly Dickensian.
Sometimes I see a tweet that doesn't make sense by itself but it is a very good tweet after I spend fifteen minutes searching for the context the tweet arose from.
Utterly Tolkienesque.
Utterly Tolkienesque.
These tweets have all been produced by taking some defining attributes of various dead authors and combining them via electronic means, to create a simulacrum of another tweet.
Utterly Shelleyan.
Utterly Shelleyan.
I slowly scroll up the timeline, observing Tweets from another culture, completely foreign to me. A tweet from somewhere I know lies at the end, but the journey to it will ultimately leave me changed forever.
Utterly Conradian.
Utterly Conradian.
