I figure I should write a small tread about de-escalating autistic kids having melt downs.

As an Autistic person with an Autistic child it often seems very obvious to me what he needs in order to come out of that state of stress. But, many people can't see that.

I think most often it comes down to

1. Don't antagonize the child or ask questions
2. Remove stressors
3. Encourage stimming or give comfort
4. Prevent harm

If a kid is having a shut down because they are panicked about eating, bathing, doing homework, taking meds or anything it is not helpful to, at the time of the shut down, tell them that they are going to have to do these things eventually.

Move their brains to something else.

Children may be reluctant to start stimming if it's suggested to them while they are upset.

I kind of "trick" my kid into stimming.

I pretend that I am intensely interested in one of his stim toys. Since he is already upset with me, he will often try to take it from me.

Today, with his sequin turtle, the sequins change colors. I told him I was going to try to change all the sequins to silver, but I said it would be really hard, knowing he likes a challenge.

So, then he started trying to turn them all to rainbow and show me the correct way.

So, then we start a challenge to see if he would be able to turn all the sequins over to rainbow on his turtle.

A few minutes later and his mood has changed, thanks to some stimming.

It's also important to always keep in mind that not eating properly or getting needs met can cause irritability that they may not be able to express.

So, consider those factors, along with lights, noise and smell when thinking about why an Autistic child might be upset.

Autistic children should never be treated as unreasonable for having a reaction to sensory issues. The environment should be changed to suit their needs.

This would be done for any Neurotypical person. If the TV was turned up to max volume all the time, you'd be irritable too.

Don't feel like you are "spoiling" your child by providing for their needs when it comes to stimming and reducing over stimulation or not forcing them to do things that make them very uncomfortable.

It's pretty nice having a family thats all ND

We all care about the sensory needs of each other and each other's special interests and stims

Although my son has the melt downs sometimes, they generally are not much of an event and pass quickly because we know how to comfort him

I forgot to write about preventing harm.

I've found an important aspect to this is reducing built up anxious energy.

Getting outside and exercising helps. But, stimming is also an important part of this.

My child has a big collection of sticks and stims by swinging them.

If he is stimming by swinging a stick or toy sword then he is not hitting and he has less desire to hit on general.

We have reduced his hitting behavior so there is basically none.

But, before that if he would hit I would often just grab his hand and distract him.