Things Solskjær FC have invented:

-Fullbacks are not meant to attack, only defend
-The manager can't come out and demand backing from the owners
-Lingard and Periera in your squad automatically results in bad results
-Ighalo can play for United because he is a United fan

-Playing a player consistently for a couple months after being frozen out and barely played, only due to injuries to Matic and Pogba, who then comes into form is a masterstroke that only an elite manager could do
-Titles in Norway are a top level achievement

-Proven managers do not succeed
-Taking a team from safety to relegation, and then 17th in the Championship after signing 17 players within the space of 9 months is due to the previous manager who did better than him and is not culpable
-Reaching semi-finals are an achievement

-A manager cannot be at fault when a player makes a mistake that costs the team the game, but when a player comes up with individual brilliance it is due to the manager's genius, as are opposition mistakes
-A 3 month run entitles you to be the Manchester United manager

-It is acceptable to undergo relegation form because Ferguson needed time before he won titles
-Being down to 10 men makes losing 6-1 at home acceptable and to be expected
-A player can underperform over a year into his tenure at the club because his dad died over a year ago

-Beating Pep Guardiola 3 times must mean you are a genius
-Winning a second leg of a knockout match that you lose is an achievement
-A manager who spends £130 on defensive reinforcements is not at fault for the club's poor defensive record

-Players coming into form mean the manager improved them but when players do worse it's not the manager's fault, it's the fault of the players and other extrinsic factors and then becomes an excuse for the manager
-A manager needs world class players to come top 4

-Manchester United had a relegation level midfield last season
-A striker in bad form is an excuse and he needs a better striker but that's okay it's not his fault he sold a proven striker and gave Martial the #9 shirt

-Ander Herrera, Alexis Sanchez, Romelu Lukaku and Chris Smalling were deadwood and would not make our squad and Solskjær deserves plaudits for selling them (even though they left on their own accord) yet there was nothing wrong with retaining Jones, Periera and Williams

-Subbing on a player who you should have started who then proceeds to win you the game is a managerial masterclass
-Frank Lampard is crap but beating him 3 times is an achievement
-Manchester United need Jadon Sancho to not lose to Palace and Spurs in the pathetic manner they did

-A manager who keeps a player against his will who made it adamant he wanted to leave, and then proceeds to pick him constantly is a manager who only wants players who show determination to play for the club and is restoring the culture of the club

-Klopp not winning a trophy for 4 years had nothing to do with Liverpool going 20+ years without a title and being absolutely dreadful before his appointment
-Pochettino inherited a title winning side
-Ferguson became a good manager after having 6+ years at United

-Wanting Solskjær out makes you a plastic but wanting Moyes, Van Gaal and Mourinho out was fine
-Playing 7 defensive players is attacking football
-We need players with United DNA but we also need Jadon Sancho, a former Man City player
-Top 4 with 66 points is a marvellous feat

-Losing 2-1 against Sevilla was pathetic under Mourinho but there was nothing wrong with it under Solskjær
-Because two critically acclaimed managers failed to win the title at United, we should hire a failed Cardiff manager

-The three month period of good results justified him getting the job fulltime but the regelation form that would follow did not warrant getting sacked
-A manager who has managed since 2008 is inexperienced and needs more time to learn his trade

-We can't keep sacking managers because we don't want to be like Chelsea who were the most successful English club of the last decade, or Real Madrid who won more champions league last decade than Manchester United football club ever has.

-David Moyes who had a better win rate when both him and Solskjær had a better win rate when they had overseen the same amount of games had underperformed but Solskjær worked wonders to have us in the top half of the table

-Solskjær improved Martial and Greenwood but when they play bad it isn't the manager's fault
-Manchester United have been played off the park by, Leicester, Arsenal, Spurs, Palace, Brighton, West Ham, Leipzig, and many more last season but play brilliant football apparently.

-Promoting two youth players, one of which is bad and doesn't play often now is the sign of a manager who trusts the youth
-Solskjær was unlucky with injuries but LVG who had a worse squad and more injuries gets no excuse