Read on Twitter
The fam is out to dinner tonight so I’m gonna treat twitter like a big group text
@YaThinkN @noosalife @PatTheGUnit
@YaThinkN @noosalife @PatTheGUnit
Mum: *pulls glasses out of bag* “omg they’re so dirty!”
Me: “don’t you have a cloth to clean them? Don’t ppl who wear glasses do that?”
Mum: “no! Stephen can you clean them?”
Dad: “no, I didn’t bring a gurney with me to dinner”
Me: “don’t you have a cloth to clean them? Don’t ppl who wear glasses do that?”
Mum: “no! Stephen can you clean them?”
Dad: “no, I didn’t bring a gurney with me to dinner”
Me: “I should turn notifications off at the table”
Mum: “I don’t have any”
Me: “I know, you’re too popular so they’re turned off”
Mum: “that’s not true I just don’t know how Twitter works!”
Me: “yes... it is... I turned them off bc you complained that there were
too many” 
Mum: “I don’t have any”
Me: “I know, you’re too popular so they’re turned off”
Mum: “that’s not true I just don’t know how Twitter works!”
Me: “yes... it is... I turned them off bc you complained that there were
too many”
@YaThinkN is known for enjoying an espresso martini. They have been ordered. I’m also nervous the staff think I’m being a dick on my phone at the table. Should I tell them I’m live tweeting dinner? Grandma thinks it’s hilarious 
Me: “my friends think it’s so funny the whole fam is on twitter”
Mum: “I don’t know any other family that is”
Dad: “the Trumps”
Me: “anybody that isn’t famous”
Mum: “we’re classier than the Trumps
Me: and none of us are suspended”
Just so you all know Grandma is loving this
Mum: “I don’t know any other family that is”
Dad: “the Trumps”
Me: “anybody that isn’t famous”
Mum: “we’re classier than the Trumps
Me: and none of us are suspended”
Just so you all know Grandma is loving this
*@YaThinkN’s meal arrives*
Me: “oh... that potato looks good
”
Mum: “you can have it if you want”
Me: “no I couldn’t....
”
Mum: “there is beautiful chicken on the plate and all you care about is the POTATO?”
Me: “”
Loving potato is a lifestyle mother, she doesn’t GET me
Me: “oh... that potato looks good
”Mum: “you can have it if you want”
Me: “no I couldn’t....
”Mum: “there is beautiful chicken on the plate and all you care about is the POTATO?”
Me: “
”Loving potato is a lifestyle mother, she doesn’t GET me
It’s time for “bitch about Sunny Coast locals, but also tourists, and also council” time. Lots of traffic talk I can’t participate in because I’m a gay stereotype who can’t drive 
I’ve been watching ppl outside jog while I eat this entire pizza by myself
I said I wouldn’t drink tonight bc netball starts tomorrow. Before dinner started grandma said “it’s the thought that counts”. Upon ordering second martini I turned to grandma and said
Me: “I made one good decision today by saying no to wine earlier”
Grandma: “that’s what counts”
Me: “I made one good decision today by saying no to wine earlier”
Grandma: “that’s what counts”
We’ve transitioned to discussing cats/dogs giving blood. Dad seems shocked that cats can donate blood. Where did he think pets got blood during surgery and what not before???? @noosalife
We’ve ordered dessert. @YaThinkN asked for a menu even though she has ordered the exact same dessert for years.... and years and years
Talking about how lovely the connections you can make on twitter (the internet) are and how important it can be. You never know what your random comment can mean to people and how lonely or isolated they may be even if for your intention isn’t to “reach out” 
[having just made a connection online I wouldn’t know anything about that 
]
]
Grandma is new to Twitter and she is commenting on how much she likes this and how much better than fb it is. Also all the babies, fan of the babies.
Grandad used to say that @YaThinkN could “make friends in an empty room”.
Me: *trying to roast mum about being chatty*
Mum: “you are exactly the same and always have been!”
Me:
Friendly fire
Me: *trying to roast mum about being chatty*
Mum: “you are exactly the same and always have been!”
Me:
Friendly fire
