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Lets talk about the thin line of internet safty and abusive people.
TW A lot of psy shit
Thread.
TW A lot of psy shit
Thread.
Let me distinguish first, for the sake of the conversation the difference between stalk and keeping tabs on an abuse ex-person in your life.
Stalking is the act of tracking down, with the intent to contact or worse.
Keeping tabs is the intent to keep distance and whereabouts.
Stalking is the act of tracking down, with the intent to contact or worse.
Keeping tabs is the intent to keep distance and whereabouts.
I was groomed in my early 20's by a 40 something year old man who was a crisis in himself and was using me to restart a 'better life with the wife and kids and college'. We met online in warcraft, and it was a terrible experince- a lot of bad happened-
I only got out cus his (at the time) best friend got me out by buying a plane ticket and telling me to cut ties.
Anyhow I kept tabs on my abuser for years, for fear he would try to reach out to me again.
Anyhow I kept tabs on my abuser for years, for fear he would try to reach out to me again.
I had to change my emails, my online persona, and everything to get away from this man -stalking- me.
My own tab keeping was always just checking simple social medias that I knew he had and he never changed. I did no reaching ect.
My own tab keeping was always just checking simple social medias that I knew he had and he never changed. I did no reaching ect.
I havn't in the past two years needed to do this, however, cus I finally feel safe, but keeping tabs is not wrong if the intent is to -avoid- and -keep people away-. And thats why I want to give you this little thread rant.
When an online talking head persona threatens to doxx kids and young adults because their fee-fees got hurt, you bet your sweet ass I'll support keeping tabs on that person, because those kids should be allowed to feel safe and to avoid the talking head.
I don't think anyone involved in a situation like that would ever want to do anything more then just a quick at a glance check for safty and move on with life. Its part cope and part information gathering for the brain to go 'ok, we're safe they're not doing anything today'.
And that my friends is an example of PTSD and abuse in a situation that could purely happen online.
Again, intent is everything and a wide grey area of interperation. If the intent is to keep yourself safe, and to not intice/interact, then its totally legit.
Again, intent is everything and a wide grey area of interperation. If the intent is to keep yourself safe, and to not intice/interact, then its totally legit.
When I was going through therapy with my own abuse escape situation, my therapist would be like 'you should stop checking, but if you have to, make sure to remind yourself you do not owe them a response or contact, because their ego desires that more then anything' tldr
Do I still fear my abusive ex will do something? It comes and goes, but I don't want to dive in that rabbit hole anymore. It's exhausting and puts me in a bad space, so I've learned to try to not 'check' and learn that I am empowered if I were to be contacted.
I have the power to tell them off, to block / mute and even report any further abuse. I have the power to keep my current social media accounts and not have to change anymore to avoid them. I have the friends and the community around me that cares about me, and not the abuse.
This goes for like any standard abuse/ victim recovery situation. The abuser has the right to grow, change and admit fault- but the victim has the right to not forgive nor ever forget, or re-establish a relationship with their abuser.
