How to stop stalking your ex:

A needed thread.

I tweeted what I knew was funny and relatable, yet the private messages I've been receiving from many, let me know that help is truly needed for this one.

What do we do if we find ourselves in this position: https://twitter.com/SayItValencia/status/1347731737732907015?s=20

·You accept that stalking your ex on social media leads you to maintain a relationship with them that is long over.

·The more you stalk them, the more you'll get used to having to this connection that is one-sided, it's like training yourself to do what doesn't feel good.

·Welcome the idea that stalking might be your response to the fear of actually doing the inner-work and letting your ex go. You replaced healing with stalking and it prolongs the bond you two had.

·At times, we create bad habits to delay what we know is inevitable: it's over.

·Acknowledge how it doesn't feel good anymore to stalk them.

·Your addiction to snooping on them is no longer about them—that is really important—it's about delaying pain. It's about finding an habit that could be soothing to your distress. Yet, stalking is unhealthy.

·You have to know your values and your principles. Valuing people's privacy has to be more important to you than entertaining bad habits like stalking.

·You will need a code of conduct when it comes to your life. The rules are for you to follow, not for others.

·Embrace the feelings you still have for this person, you don't have to hate them and you don't have to wait until you no longer love them to stop stalking their social media.

·Love them so much that you honor the distance there now is between you two.

·Stalking isn't an indicator of how much you love someone and can't let them go, it could be an indicator for your need to control what's already out of your control.

·It's never about them, it's always about the temporary "fix" you found to not let the connection go.

·You will have to address how obsessive it is becoming. Start with accepting that stalking doesn't come out of love, it comes out of repeating a behavior that delays pain and stops you from seeing reality for what it is.

·When ready, start deleting what reminds you of them.

·Keep busy. Have a life that feels full even when you're on your own. Your daily tasks should be fulfilling to you.

·Replace the habit of stalking by doing something healthier, go for a walk when the obsession shows up again. Try to delay checking their social media page.

·Take breaks from social media.

·Have new activities that you're looking forward to, activities that ask you to spend quite some time planning things.

·Research on your own behavior, more than you research on what your ex could be doing and who they could be seeing/ talking to.

I love how a lot of people are saying "Just block them!" and we both know that isn't what you are doing. You did not block them.