Early in my career, I was given the feedback "just be careful there aren't too many women at your meetup- we don't want it to be too homogeneous", and I think about the absurdity of that statement every fucking day.

Soon after, they had the audacity to ask me for a "positive referral" for their next position.

Being a woman in tech is exhausting.

Best part? The data said otherwise.

There were way more men than women attending these events- there were just more women than usual... ya know, the whole thing companies have been trying to solve for YEARS, I had accomplished on my own, and was scolded for. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

I was then told "but they're all junior + bootcampers".

Also wrong. I went through hundreds of names, 1 by 1 for hours (shout-out to @Meetup for making this difficult at the time), and most of the women were senior engineers who attended university and the men? Most self taught.

So yeah, it's fucking exhausting to be a woman in tech.

Not only do you have to do your job, but you also have to PROVE that you're doing your job.

Check your biases- they have consequences on others.

I'm very lucky- I have a partner in tech more senior than me with industry experience that I could go to for advice.

But think about how many women and other marginalized folks who don't have that luxury? I would have left the industry for sure.

Your words have consequences.

There have been several moments in my time working as a woman in tech where a man has said 1 sentence he probably thought nothing of, that made me seriously question if I should leave tech all together.

Words have impact. Think before you speak, and call this shit out.

Not to mention the added layer of being asked whose daughter/wife you are at the conference you're keynoting at or situations like this: https://twitter.com/ChloeCondon/status/1195196273260822528?s=19

I will never understand why having boobs throws off so many men in this industry. Truly- it baffles me.