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Thread on aftercare for subs in long distance bdsm relationships 
Basic things after any session would be drinking water, cleaning up, maybe eating something. Post scene, make sure you're online on voice/vid call for long enough to make sure they're ok :)
Feel free to dm me more ideas if you have any and I'll add them to this thread
Feel free to dm me more ideas if you have any and I'll add them to this thread
1. Over voice call, you can just chat about normal stuff, your lives etc. From what I've seen, the deeper they are in sub space, the more they prefer to have YOU talk so maybe you could tell them a story or read them some poetry. +
the main goal is to reassure them that you're there with them if they need anything or if they wanna talk/share something. (you could about the session y'all can do so as well).
2. If there's a way you can listen to a synced playlist or something you could do that, while staying on call in case any of you feel like talking in the middle.
3. Remember to ask them if they're physically comfortable. If your sub is a little, they'll probably enjoy playing with their stuffies and you could ask them to tell you about their stuffies - stuff like what are all their names? are they all a family? etc.+
keep in mind not to ask them questions that you wouldn't ask a child, for obvious reasons, but I'm just putting it out there.
4. If it's over text, you could type out a story/poem for them. Again, remember to check up on them at regular intervals. And stay online for a while and text them so that they know you're there with them.
5. You could have a movie date post scene. I think the best platform for this is discord but feel free to use whichever you're comfortable with. Both of you can get snacks and drinks to go with it too.
6. Journal writing helps some subs so after the scene you could talk about it and they could write in their journal. If they're willing to share, they could send you a picture after writing. Something else you could so is co-write an entry with them +
so it would have stuff about how you felt, how they felt, random stuff, anything. The fun is in merging your thoughts together into one entry.
7. Whatever your mode of communication is, make sure to be more expressive than you would be in real life bc unintentional miscommunication could cause bad dom/sub drops. Soothing words and reassurances mean a lot when it comes to aftercare. This goes both ways, for both D and s.
8. Asking questions is important. Ask them what they liked, what they didn't, do they want to try something different, etc. Don't pressurise them into answering too much in detail. The way you approach the question asking should differ based on +
the kind of sub you're dealing with i.e. subs, littles, middles, pets, etc.
9. Praising is important. If your sub doesn't like soft praises you don't /have/ to. But remember, the idea is to build up their confidence and self-esteem so find a way to let them know they did a great job.
Aftercare is very important in ldrs. Remember that sub drop is more likely to occur in a ldr if the sub is left alone post scene. Aftercare differs from submissive to submissive so try to figure out what works best for you and remember to be open with what each of you need.
