I had a good talk with one of the directors of @FurnalEquinox on the topic of making the con more POC-friendly, and I think what I brought up is important enough to be shared openly here for other con directors too as it pertains to allyship.

Thread:

I'll first lay out my credentials: I used to be a moderator for a very large Reddit community (500k subs) and its attached Discord server (~5k online at a given time). I've been involved with drafting and approving policy, enforcing such policy, and adapting it as times changed.

What I'm saying is that, while it was mostly virtual, I do have experience of being responsible for rules as they applied to a huge group of people of every background and person, as well as trying to find ways to actually enforce those rules without burning myself out.

Over time, a number of con chairs and important people in-fandom who have a lot of strings to pull at their disposal come to me another POC furries for advice on how to make their cons POC-friendly.

This is a good thing, by the way, but I digress.

Usually, it comes as something akin to the following questions:

"What rules can I add to my code of conduct? How do I enforce them?"

"How can I tell if something is culturally appropriative? How do I make sure I don't cast my net too wide?"

Now, I/we are of course happy to help, and we can do things like explain how cultural appropriation is harmful and why a white person having an eastern dragon fursona is probably fine but why a white person wearing a tribal headdress probably isn't. We can talk a LOT about this.

But, here comes the hard pill to swallow. You ready?

Truthfully, I don't actually have an answer for your questions like that. Not really. At least, not an answer you want, so to speak.

When I mean "not an answer you wanted", I don't mean that the answer is going to offend you or shock you to your core or make you reconsider your life choices (although that can happen), rather it has to do with how you're going about learning to be an ally.

One of the things that white allies tend to want in the face of being pressured into leading more socially responsible lives as it pertains to race is that they want a sort of crash-course and get "up to speed" in matters of race and racism in an afternoon's conversation.

This is especially true for con directors—allies in leadership roles—who have the responsibility to create and enforce rules in a community and are on the hook for ensuring those rules are written and applies justly.

Again, I point to my experience as an ex-mod: during my tenure, I absolutely desired a mod position where things were clean, I can be briefed on a set of new rules in half an hour, and then be confident in every decision and never have to consult upper management.

There is a real want for things to be done cleanly especially since you're in a position of power. I understand the desire for someone to just sit down, lay everything out for you, and send you on your way.

I understand the desire for you, a con director, for me to be that person to just sit you down, outline your rules, knock out all your exemptions and answer all your questions in an evening, and then you can go about your business enforcing your now POC-friendly con!

The problem is that I don't have clean cut answers for you.

And that's because allyship is a skill.

And with any skill, you can't become an expert in an afternoon.

I can't teach you how to draw or paint or do great anatomy studies in an afternoon. I certainly can't do so by giving you a lecture in Telegram or over email in plain text.

Like any skill, the skill of allyship demands time, and sustained effort over time.

To use an analogy, as an artist, and if you ask me the question:

"What brush should I use?"

I, equally, will not have an answer for you, and you can probably see why.

I can give you pointers. Perhaps there's a certain look or technique you wish to emulate; maybe an example would help. Maybe your use of brushes is limited to your software or tools. I can also brief you on strategies to know how to choose the right brushes for yourself.

But I can't really give you an answer as simple as "50% flat round with transfer enabled and stabilisation set to 25%". It's an inherently complicated question you're answering that is highly circumstantial and dependent on a lot of factors, what you accomplish, etc.

"But Kav! You're an artist! You know what brushes to use!"

I do, and that's because that's because I've put in a lot of time and effort into the right skills that let me answer that question when I ask it myself.

I don't have a formula book that outlines every possibility and what tool to use at that point. I don't have a fancy equation or a list of rules with every exception and edge case codified. It's a product of my skill, a million experiences that congeals into my own answers.

If you ask me "how can I enforce my new CoC rule against cultural appropriation" "how will I know if a situation in front of me is cultural appropration", that's a similar calibre of question.

The ability to do something like identify incidents of harmful cultural appropriation is itself part of the skill of being an ally, just as colour theory or composition is for art. If you give me a specific example, sure I can give you a pointer. Probably even a clean answer.

I can tell you if that specific example is harmful or not. I can tell you what colour scheme you should probably use for that painting. I can tell you that maybe a dutch angle isn't the best framing.

But I can't just teach you how to identify it properly, each time, every time.

Anti-racism, being a POC ally, are skills, and frankly most of you are beginners. The only way you can really improve it is by taking the time and effort in being proactive. I didn't learn to draw just by asking artists how they did a thing, doing a single exercise, and then >>

forgetting about it until the next time I want to draw. Similarly, learning to be an ally is an ongoing learning process that requires your effort.

For a lot of white people, that's too much. They're upset I can't teach them how to be unracist in an afternoon and then promptly quit. They get upset that I can't teach them how to paint in an afternoon.

Don't be like that.

You can't suddenly make your event not racist just by penciling in some new bullet points in the CoC, no matter how many subheaders it has—although that is part of it—it is putting the time and effort into learning the skills in being an ally. Having enough experience >>

having enough time, reading enough material, having seen enough examples so that when you ask yourself something like "is this racist? should the con take action?" you are armed with the toolkit to answer that question or have the humility to defer to someone more experienced.

So you want to learn to be an ally. How do you start?

Listen to us. It's the best way.

Follow us on Twitter. Make a special column on your tweetdeck for POC furries so you can get a good big picture. Pay attention to what we say, and what we retweet. Make notes, physically or mentally, of what we approve of and disapprove of.

Observe how we go about educating others. See how we deal with situations, and how we evaluate specific scenarios and cases of offense. Look at the kinds of people we disavow and what we disavow over. See what kinds of behaviours we approve of, and incorporate that.

Don't talk over us, but boost what we say. Condemn acts of racism in the fandom. Build a REPUTATION—don't hope that we can infer, because we've paid the price for being wrong many times, make it explicitly clear where you stand.

Make it clear you're taking the effort to learn, but also show understanding that you're learning. Seek out advice of POC. When there's a fandom incident, ask what you as a con chair can do to ensure that doesn't happen at your con, under your leadership.

Will it take months or years to feel well-informed? Probably.

Will it take a lot of time out of your day, every day? Sure.

Can it feel tiring at times? Of course.

But that's the nature of a skill, and if you want to do well, you have to put the work in.

It's good that you want to write new CoC that help POC feel safe. But turning your con into a racism-free is more than just writing some rules down in pen (although, again, it is that) or having a diverse board (which is also part of that), but in your ability to >>

respect the art of anti-racism /itself/ for the skill it is, and putting real effort into it like you are learning to draw, to speak French, or to dance, or, well...to run a convention.

We, as POC, grow tired of having to be the ones to take initiative. To us, white allies who don't see anti-racism as a skill that must be practised come off as people who want to be handed the talent on a silver platter lest they deem it not worth engaging in.

I, along with many, would like to be mentors of skills we take interest in—but we don't want to mentor those who don't seem interested in putting in the effort in the first place.

Show engagement, effort, real conviction, real time, real sweat—and we'll come.

Being an ally in anti-racism is complex and difficult with no easy answers because racism itself is complex and difficult with no easy answers.

You can't be anti-racist by writing a giant CoC rulebook complete with every contingency with every possibility outlined so you have a handy equation to judge every incident absolutely.

Take the time, the care, and the effort.

It's a skill.