1. I have a privilege confession. I’m 51. For almost 30 years of my life I had no idea that the police treated folks differently due to race because I never experienced it. I never had a bad run in with police. I didn’t know. Then when I learned it was only theoretical knowledge. https://twitter.com/mcurtisnc3/status/1347669899552976900

2. For the next 20 years I was the Susan Collins of racial disparity in policing. I’d furrow my brow and express concern but it never really registered. This summer at the BLM protests in DC that one woman stood up and started preaching in the crowd about it.

3. The young woman asked for a show of hands from all the POC in the area for those who had had negative experiences with police. Everyone raised their hands. Everyone. I was shook. At that point it was the first time in 50 years I had the initial visceral reaction to it.

4. But even then I thought, this can’t be representative. We’re at a protest. Of course folks who are pissed off about it are mad for a reason. So I started asking my black friends and colleagues, folks with law degrees and PhDs the same question. Have you ever experienced this?

5. To. A. Person. They all said yes. And not just yes once but yes these times, four times, five times. And not just as kids or young adults but as working professionals. Every last one of them had these experiences. Sometime police engaged in physical violence or drew weapons.

6. Then I realized I would never understand their POV from a visceral level. How could I. I’ve never had that experience. Not once. And I’ve been pulled over dozens of times for anything from speeding to driving without my lights on. Not once. And THAT made me sad.

7. It made me sad because I don’t know how we really discuss these issues without a common ground of experience. It’s like debating whether a strawberry tastes good or bad but never having eaten one?

8. It made me sad that those I saw as protectors were viewed as threats by my closest friends. It made me sad that we can’t just agree there’s a problem and fix it. It made me sad that folks have suffered for so long and I was too damn blind to even ask the fucking question.

9. I can’t lead on the solution because I don’t have the experience to understand the problem sufficiently. But what I decided last summer is that I would ask the questions an listen, just listen. And that I would support those who do have the experience and the know how.