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ok, finally got to actually watch the episode. thoughts:
1) i really understand why i stopped watching i just... do not find enough of these characters interesting at all, it's a personal flaw but it's true.
1) i really understand why i stopped watching i just... do not find enough of these characters interesting at all, it's a personal flaw but it's true.
2) i really do love that smug bastard, i'm very glad that at least for now they're holding the line on his characterization
3) goddamn some people in this cast can face act, although seeing them without their masks so much made me actually anxious
3) goddamn some people in this cast can face act, although seeing them without their masks so much made me actually anxious
4) i genuinely liked how they handled his motivations and liv coming right out and asking him about it at the end. of course i would have loved more and something even deeper, but i know what show i'm watching, i'm pretty thankful for what we got.
and 5) the big thought: i know a lot of people are bummed about how awkward maybe??? (i don't know what the exact right word is) liv and rafa kind of seem to be, how at odds they were throughout even though they were kind of on the same side, but i think it actually makes sense?
if the first scene with rafa had been him showing up at liv's house for new years or something like that, i'd have more of a problem with it, but i think in the context of the past year and of his exit, her reactions to him are in character
i know the first scene is in the diner, but the first time we really see them at odds is when barba shows up at the precinct unannounced and catches her off guard, both with his presence itself and with his approach to the case.
suddenly he's *there,* he's back, in this place where they built so much of their relationship, but he's not quite *right.* he's two steps from where he's supposed to be, like she's seeing superimposed images of him there, then and now, and it's making things blurry and unsure.
i'm sure liv still has unresolved feelings about him leaving herself, whatever you view their relationship as, and it must have been hard for things to be just that little bit off, after a year in which even the most mundane things have been off in varying degrees.
and while i'm glad they addressed the trauma and grief rafa went through, i'm not sure this particular case w/ its outcome gave him any real closure. so they're both not exactly on the right footing. there's an adjustment period, and i think that's okay. i even kind of like it.
there's still plenty of *them* in it. he's wants her approval, she's willing to tell it to him like it is, raúl and mariska did some top notch face acting that i just really enjoy getting to watch them do, and they parted with a message of starting, not ending.
and especially since i think it's now been confirmed he's going to be back for multiple episodes, i don't mind there being a first step and i don't mind this being it. they're still best friends, they still look at each other *like that,* they just have some even ground to find.
the flickering flame of hope in my heart tells me that there was so much restraint in this particular scene so that they can build something bigger later, my brain all but definitively knows it's mostly because they only have so much time and so many scenes they can put in an ep.
the whole ep really did make me just ache for something good to happen to liv like i haven't in a long while, i'm not going to be able to listen to 'help i'm alive' for months at this point, and i think i've made it obvious specifically what i want that good thing to be.
but outside of any shipping concerns, i think that's my main takeaway here above anything else? they all seem exhausted, like so many of us, but liv hit me especially hard. i'm wary of where things are going, because i always am, but certainly not entirely without any hope.
and 'i just miss it... and you' was extremely good! i'll live on that for a couple days, and then a couple more on rafa's smile and liv's face as she watched him walk away! it was all kind of bittersweet and tender, which again i think very much fits for where they are!
if they don't fuck everything up majorly for either of them and i get like 1.5 more good best friends scenes, i'd consider myself happy and content with myself and others writing fics, even as much as i do want them to smush their faces together canonically.
