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KETAMINE: a thread. Please mute this thread if reading about IV ketamine for depression is not your thing.
I got my first dose of IV ketamine on Wednesday. I was asked to bring “comfort objects” and a playlist of songs without lyrics. I had the first, but forgot to put the second together. I brought my BAMC ER challenge coin and my old name badge. I ended up not needing them.
The goal of this clinic was to induce dissociation. I *live* mildly dissociated, so after the first 15 minutes, they had to up the dose slightly. It worked after that. There was no ego death, no complete detachment from reality.
I did lose *most*, but not all, persistent physical sensation; IE, I wouldn’t “feel” the pressure of the chair, but if someone tapped my hand, I would feel that. Mostly, I lost my filter and asked a bunch of questions. Is ketamine a CNS depressant? Do you like your job?
The effects lingered for the rest of the day. I was told not to drive for 12 hours, and not to pay attention to the news, or use social media. Aside from the spaciness, I didn’t feel any different.
I woke up the next day and ordered groceries. I finished the pencils for a comic page that I’d stalled out on the last two panels of for literal weeks. I then started and completed another page in what remained of the day.
I have a philosophy that many of you might share: don’t assume the drug’s working; it could be placebo, or the drug could be working and then suddenly stop later. At the same time, don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. If you have that bandwidth, take it, whatever the reason.
As it is, it’s looking like I might complete three pages of pencils in two days. As a person who sometimes takes a whole ass month on a single (full color) page, I can’t pretend that isn’t significant. Still, I have to be cautious and manage my expectations.
My next session is on Monday. We’ll see how that goes. I’ll keep you updated.
