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During the COVID-19 lockdown, there was over 122% increase in divorce enquiry in the UK. In the US, interest in divorce increased by 34%. Immediately after the lockdown, the courts were filled with people who wanted to get divorced, mostly couples less than 2yrs together
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Most issues that pushed sparring couples to press for divorce were communication issues, persistent argument & fights. They began to see things and reflect over many issues that were covered under work and the bustle of life. I think many single people should learn from this.
The lockdown gave them ample time to reflect & see things they thought would fizzle out. I mean people who were married for less than 2yrs! From butterflies in the belly before the lockdown to infuriation towards their partner. What were they doing during the dating phase?
If you are locked with your current partner in a house for a year, would you be happy? This question is such a deep one because many times people get lost in work, studying, and external business that make them not have enough time to KNOW their partner.
For many marriages, all they need is enough time for them to see how toxic and incompatible they are, because they most likely spent their dating days revelling in frivolities, vanity and physical intimacy. How much do you know who you’re dating?
The ideal purpose of dating is to KNOW who you’re with so that you won’t say ‘HAD I KNOWN’ in marriage. I once shared how I used to sometimes talk for 5 hours with my past lovers, and some people said I was just talking too much. Lol. There can never be too much communication!
But when it comes to “spin me upside in bed” and “if I meet you I’ll do 50 styles on you in 30 minutes”, it’s not too much. If it’s “let’s go to your favourite restaurant”, it’s not too much? But when it has to do with having conversations, it’s much? That's the problem!
Young people are in a hurry to have sex more than they are to know people. There’s so much laziness to do the work of knowing who someone is, having boundaries, communicating effectively and developing relationship skills.
I wouldn’t say marry someone you’re compatible with. I mean it’s not bad, but you can be 80% compatible with someone, but a disagreement over the minute 20% incompatibility can lead to a crash. It’s not how compatible you guys are; it’s how you handle your incompatibilities.
Ask questions about everything & anything. More than asking questions, please observe patterns. Do they communicate effectively? Are they emotionally mature? Do you guys agree on your major values? How do they handle conflict? One of the leading causes of divorce is communication
Communicate! Young folks, communicate!!!! A lot of you have been together for many months and you know nothing about your partner, but your genitals are so familiar
. Take your time to know that person because you will have to wake up to them every day!
. Take your time to know that person because you will have to wake up to them every day!
My relationship clarity coaching session is up for people who want to build better relationships. You can’t be too prepared for marriage, but you can be reasonably ready. Reach and out to me if you want a one on one session with me
