i just realised two things

i've alwayd had trouble reconciling "once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny; consume you it will," with the sheer number of times we see jedi succumb to the dark side and then come back to the light

this is because i see yoda as correct, no matter how many times dave filoni takes me gently by the hand and says "all things must be in balance"

yoda is wrong. he's just straight up jedi-institutional-bias-kriffing wrong.

the jedi order steals force sensitive children to makes them light users of a single political and philosophical faith.

anyone who uses the force naturally as a product of their culture or species or life circumstances who is not a jedi is treated with suspicion, by jedi.

we know the jedi order isn't the good guys. we know it's a lot more complicated than that, but jedi hostility towards any balance between light and dark actively puts neutral force users in direct danger of exploitation by the sith.

and the second thing i realised: every time they unironically and unselfconsciously bleat about "balance" without thinking about what that means for them (for instance, the universe creating a sith powerful enough to exterminate them) it's cos they see everything not-jedi as dark

so they believe they are a tiny minority of thousands of force users trying to balance out what they see as overwhelming darkness in the galaxy, despite that simply not being true.

also i find listening to the jedi council extremely irritating, cos they remind me of people who have never experienced a mental illness saying to their own struggling children "well have you tried just NOT being depressed??" every time someone struggles with their emotions.

WOW THANKS FOR THAT, LUMINARA, LEMME JUST PUT THIS BOMB AWAY AND FORGET THE WHOLE THING

yeah no msster yoda that was a big help, went down to that cave and ?successfully? deflected some daddy issues with dad's sword you told me not to take, surely this will work out well

*several years later*
"AHH I HAD A VISION OF BEN SOLO BEING EVIL BETTER REACT TO IT WITH A SWORD AND I OOP"

"saw an evil cave"
"no swords unless you want a sword test"
*takes sword, fails test* "I WIN"

[later]

"saw my friends in pain"
"the future you see"
"shit i better go fulfil that future huh"
"no???"
*loses hand, bad dad* "i.. hmm."

[later]
"teachin time"
*BEN SOLO DEBACLE*
"oh"

no wonder yoda was like "yes burn that shit, being dead has given me some perspective i really should have taken onboard during that little vacay i took while plo kloon and all the rest were getting atomised"

anyways i still love the grumpy old fuck but 900 years of being wrong as shit should have made some of this obvious to me by now.

holy fuck i am a turbonerd

haha i said boner