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It is really frustrating how girls/women are not allowed to have an honest conversation about beauty without women (feminists or not) feel attacked/defensive.
Beauty is a social/cultural construction (them "lets bring evolution/biology into every conversation" might take a seat) and since men are socially/cultural powerful, THEY get to define whats beauty/whats not
Women on the other hand, since their status is lower, get to be the vessels thru which cultural/social constructions are passed/represented .
Just like how women are held to a higher MORAL level while men are not, they r also held to represent the cultural mores men define . Beauty, like morality, are social rules made by the powerful and preserved by the powerless.
I've seen plenty women express how they are annoyed when men say "women are better au natural/with make up/with surgery/without" and wish if they could just "stay out of women buisness"
But what alot of women dont understand (or refuse to understand cuz i'm aware of how women are in constant denial of how men are powerful over them) is that beauty isnt "women buisness", its has always been something men make and enforce
So when men say those things, those are ways of expressing dominance and their control over women . Very subtle, very personal . Male power is that insidious.
This is why i hate those conversation about how beauty standards affect both genders, it hides the fact that female beauty standards are made by men but male beauty standards are NOT made by women but by men as well .
Beauty standards reflect what is feminine and masculine, not what is attractive because you cannot standardizes what is attractive (humans are way creative and weirder than that) . Beauty standards reflect who is powerful/powerless .
This doesnt mean that you cant find certain things defined as attractive attractive . What i'm saying is for the most part the things we collectively find attractive is largely due to the fact that it comes with a certein status (hence beauty historically goes with status)
I believe this is why many women are unwilling to talk about beauty in a critical manner, esp liberal feminists, and keep repeating the choice mantra : they do not want to admit the fact that beauty comes with a status that makes dealing with men (relatively) easy
Also, they do not want to admit to the fact that with this status comes a price which is being marked as inferior (hence they keep repeating the "femininity isnt weakness" slogan) .
And while things that are deemed feminine/beautiful are not inherently weak, in a man's world where hierarchy is the way, femininity/beauty is a marker men put on those they dominate/deem weak/ or If femininity is weakness, then beautification is the way it is marked/seen
This is also why those deemed unfeminine/unpretty are bullied into it . This is a woman in her natural state is deemed as a threat . This is why they are feared or deemed as unapproachable ; men do not approach their equals as they do not believe in equality
Men want to dominate (approach you but disrespect you), but if they failed, they relatively respect you (but fear you and keep on tryin to dominate you) . A woman being unfeminine/unpretty is signaling that she is not "dominated" so thats why she is feared and treated like shit
That does not mean that a woman who is feminne/pretty/attractive is treated better . On a surface level she is (more likely to be approached/given upportunities) but she isnt respected (deemed inferior/being abused/violated) . Thats why pretty privilege isnt a privilege
Speakin of beauty, notice how what women find attractive is diverse and more or less healthy/realistic, while men tend to desire traits that are hard to come by, as if they are expressing their hatred to women thru sexuality (explains why female beauty standards are painful)
While women are genuinely expressing human sexual/authetic desire, men are expressing one desire which is to hurt women + hiding this true intention thru the excuse of culture/biology/sexuality
Just like how men weaponized sex to use it to hurt women, the same is for attraction and notions like beauty
