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SAFETY THREAD: Since I am currently experiencing safety issues with a disgruntled sub I released from consideration, I wanted to make a thread of small things I do to protect myself with in-person SW. I hope this helps someone out there.
Disclaimer: these tips are solely based off of my experiences and are in no way the end all be all of safety. I have only been in the industry for a year, and I welcome other opinions or advice.
Clarification: I am a Domme, so all of my clients are submissives, but these tips can still apply to non-D/s SW as well.
1)No one needs your personal phone number. If you’re US-based, you can get a alternative number through Google Voice. I’ve heard TextNow could be an alternative. I used Kik once with a Canadian sub.
2)Related to #1, no one needs your personal email. Create an alternative email for all sites or payment methods you use to bolster your online safety.
3)When possible, meet your client for the first time in a neutral, public place during daylight hours. Consider picking a place that isn’t super close to where you live.
4)Do not leave the public place at the same time as the client. If you meet them close to where you live, you don’t want them to see which direction you’re walking.
4a)If you’re meeting far from where you live, you don’t want them to see which car you’re getting into (license plate) or bus route or whatever. When they leave, I make an excuse to go to the bathroom and wait 10-15 minutes before leaving.
5)Even with a SW alias, it’s important to not give out too many identifying details about yourself. The client does not need to know the exact place you grew up, where you went to school, where you work, etc.
6)Related to #5, avoid wearing identifying clothing with school/city/personal names or monograms.
7)Establish your boundaries quickly. Let your clients know that you do not tolerate inappropriate behavior and that your safety should be a priority for them as well
8)Only give out your wishlist to clients you trust. Even with PO Box delivery, I’m cautious giving the link out.
9)If a client orders you a drink, watch the server or bartender pour/deliver it to you. Do not leave a client unattended with your food or drink.
10)Never partake in any activities that make you feel unsafe. This can include drugs/drinking/kinks/fetishes or whatever. Your boundaries are valid and must be respected at all times.
11)References are fantastic. If a client has a SWer reference that you can contact, do it if it will make you feel more safe.
12)Good clients will respect these rules and will not push your boundaries. You deserve to work with good clients, and bad clients are not entitled to proximity to you or your time.
Finally, trust your gut. If you feel unsafe in any situation, leave immediately. Don’t worry about being abrupt, your safety is always paramount.
