This is dangerously simplistic.

It's ok to tell a cult member "hey, if you ever need out, call me day or night and I'll be there." That's fine.

But if you stay Good Buddies in an attempt to be a lifeline? You'll probably get pulled in. https://twitter.com/workingdog_/status/1347558360808370176

I say this as an ex-cult member and in agreement with @edgar_a_bitch's thread on this subject.

Cults are VERY GOOD at recruiting and you, personally, are almost certainly not as good at resisting recruitment as we all like to believe we are.

I mean, you might be the 1 in 100 exception that you can't be pulled into a cult, but I promise you that the other 99 people who were pulled in all thought they were that person who couldn't be recruited.

If you want to be a lifeline friend to a cult member, it's absolutely vital that you not be a FRIEND-friend. You can't be.

You can't read that pamphlet they want to discuss with you. You can't have that friendly discussion about their beliefs. You can't be a normal friend.

"No, you know how I feel about your beliefs. No, I'm not reading that. No, I'm not having this discussion. No. If you ever need a hand out of that situation, you have my number."

That's pretty much all you can say to them.

Cults are *designed* to draw you in with little breadcrumbs of discussion and immersion in their worldview. You think it's gonna start out with the wackiest silliest stuff, but it doesn't. They feed you tiny reasonable lies and false truths bit by bit. They're VERY GOOD at it.

The truth is, you are probably never going to be able to pull from a cult someone who WANTS to be there. You MIGHT be able to be their ride if they decide on their own to leave, but that really only happens when the abuse outweighs the rewards.

Your parents who are watching Fox religiously probably aren't going to reach that abuse threshold because it's not an "in person" cult dynamic.

In that case, cutting them off might be the better option for jarring them awake. Or it might not.

That's one of the frustrating scary things about cults: you don't know if laying down an ultimatum will wake them up or if they'll cling to their new god more than to their own family.

We absolutely need to approach these rightwing conspiracy groups like cults, but we have to understand that (a) no one is immune from recruitment and (b) these new "online" cults are harder to rescue people from than the old "in person" cults.

And unfortunately way too many folks confidently think that cults only trap "stupid" people, and openly fantasize about being a kind face to a Nazi and suddenly rescuing them after buying them a sandwich. Cults don't work like that.

It's why we're so adamant about not being friends with white supremacists. You think you'll bring them out, but they will instead bring you in. They're trained in highly effective recruitment techniques that you aren't trained to resist. And your confidence is a liability.

Anyway, none of this is meant to pick on OP, sorry, but I'm seeing a lot of advice lately about how to be a lifeline to people in cults and most of it is either wrong or actively dangerous or just doesn't apply to "online" cults.

Unfortunately, as long as a cult is satisfying an emotional need, the cultist usually won't leave unless more basic physical needs are threatened, either by the cult itself or by association with the cult. https://twitter.com/lizzymajerus/status/1347617927617540097?s=19

That's why some online rightwingers will back away when they realize their employment is threatened: the emotional appeal of the cult couldn't compete with the physical needs of food, shelter, etc.

It's also why social shunning works on Nazis and why we don't offer to buy them lunch; they need to experience the drawbacks of being in the cult in order to leave it.

And it's why cutting off your Fox News parents *might* help jar them awake: if the emotional needs of a relationship with their children outweigh the emotional rewards of their racism cult.

But it might not, which of course can hurt a lot when you're the kid in question.

It's also why it's vitally important that the insurrectionists from yesterday be prosecuted correctly according to the law.

A lot of folks fantasize about saving cultists by being a kind stranger, but cults ARE kind to their members. Sort of. The cult satisfies a deep emotional need that (as a stranger in the checkout line next to the Nazi) you're not going to be able to compete with.

Mind you, there's a difference between people who join cults and people born into them, but "online" cults are composed mostly of voluntary joiners, which is a big part of the problem.