I, a Black woman do not feel safe in America.

I, a Black woman who is a disciple of Jesus, do not feel confident that I am safe around most White and professing Christians.

I am heartbroken over this.

Because when I look into the faces of most White people, even those inside the church, there is such a distrust, that makes me wonder, who exactly I’m looking at, and whether or not they actually believe I am equal.

I was the ONLY Black person in my entire Presbyterian preschool.

For a majority of my life, 98% of my friends were White.

I have been in your homes. I have assimilated in many ways. I’ve gotten the short end of the stick.

Even with all of that, I still am shocked at times.

I have some incredible White friends today. They see me and love me.

However, if I’m honest, I never feel completely 100% sure all the time, if I am truly safe with them. If my identity will ever be called into question. If they merely tolerate my Black skin.

If I was more “like them”, would that change anything.

I’ve lived in that tension for most of my life. It’s exhausting. It got me nowhere.

Embracing my Blackness is so important to me. Knowing that Jesus encourages me even, to live in the freedom of who He made me to be.

I’ve been so deeply disappointed and discouraged lately. Not hearing White people be able to call evil evil without caveats.

Apart of me wants to leave this thread on a positive note, but I’m gonna let the tension hang.

So, that’s that.